All Things Considered...

1.23.12

2012-01-23T19:36:00.001-05:00

Hello again! How was your day of prayer and fasting? Good I hope, though I would love to hear about it in the comment section. Mine was probably the best fast I've ever done. I had so much energy and joy (even when everyone decided to go to Jose Peppers, a delicious local establishment that I often crave, but alas, could not partake in)!

As I prayed, I wrote in a notebook as I often do (I have a very short attention span and find this helps me focus, besides the fact that I love looking at past prayers and seeing what God has done) and after much debate, decided to post it. It's quite long, but I feel like God guided my prayer profoundly. This said, I will be praying this prayer throughout the year and am wholeheartedly inviting you to do the same! Join me :)

January 22, 2012

God today I am fasting again as I did in 2008. Today is the 39thanniversary of Roe v. Wade. Today we begin our 40th year in the desert ofconvenience, of selfishness, of lies and of ignorance. Could this be the yearwhere we turn from the sins of our fathers and You can finally bring us intothe promised land? May it be so, God.

Many people are fasting with me today. We have humbled ourselves and havetaken this time to set aside our desire for the things we fast and decide thatwe want you more. We want to see Your heart, to be tuned to hear what You sayand do Your will. Give us more love for our nation's children and for theirmothers. Help our people to see the blood on their hands. May our eyes beopened to the horrors and the evil deeds in our depravity so we will all be somortified that we can no longer sit and watch death win. May we see when deathis about to steal our lives and the lives of our children that we will holdthem back and say, "No, not this one".

Help us understand fully Your love for us so we can see Your lovefor them also; so we may have the boldness to stand for their rights as well asour own.

Fill our hearts with love for the mothers and fathers,God. Help us to be overflowing with grace and understanding. May we love themenough to call them out of their sin, but also to stand by them and hold themup with prayer and encouragement. May we have so much compassion thatthere is no room for judgment. Help them to feel so loved that they turn to Youand can’t help but love their children.

Help our people to love adoption. As You set thelonely in families, help us do the same.

Change the heart of our government to love ourchildren. Make their eyes be open to the truth so they may repent and turn fromdeath. Help our nation to be known for cultivating a passion for life andkindness and humility. Break our selfishness.

God, help us to be so passionate about life and sobold that our communities are changed. May we gather so many mothers and babiesin our arms that abortion clinics go out of business and our communities can’thelp but see You.

May 2012 bring radical revival that we haven’t seenyet. Gather people into Your embrace by the thousands. Rid us of thecomplacency that creeps in and steals life from us. Use us in ways we wouldn’thave thought to dream of.

God, may the men of America stand up as protectors oflife. Help them lead us in boldness and bravery. May their hearts break withcompassion so they won’t allow such morbid action and cruelty on theirchildren. Have them take responsibility for these orphans and no longer be weakas our society makes them, but let them lead us as heroes and champions intofreedom by paths of righteousness.

Give grace to women who have had abortions and letthem not forfeit the grace that is so freely theirs. May they know howincredibly cherished and valued they are as Your princesses. Make their heartscontrite and broken for their deeds, but then filled with joy and peace in yourgrace and forgiveness.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your love for the millions ofkilled babies and that Your arms are big enough to hold every single one ofthem. Thank You that they are alive in You as You sing and laugh over them.

Thank You that you love America enough to answer ourprayers when we humble ourselves. Thank You that You love us too much to let uschoose wickedness without discipline. Thank You that Your grace is enough todrown out condemnation and cover our mistakes. May we not take advantage ofthat. Give us strength today as You guide our prayers and encourage us when weare weak. Let us know that even though it may not seem so, every prayer we prayis taken seriously by You and will always come to fruition.

Use us, God, in 2012 that we and our people see Yourheart.

Amen.

1.22.12

2012-01-22T00:23:00.000-05:00

Hello! If you are reading this, you have probably (and accurately) guessed that today is our day of prayer and fasting here at All Things Considered. If you have no idea what I'm talking about and I have sparked your curiosity, I talked about it here.

As I said, on this day of January 22, the 39th anniversary of the ruling of the supreme court that pronounced abortion as legal, we are fasting for the repentance of America and of our communities and that God will turn our hearts from darkness. We will pray that we will cultivate an attitude of love and grace for these mothers who plan to, or have already had abortions and that we will no longer stand by, pleading ignorance, but will somehow be involved in stopping abortion.

God hates abortion. We know that by now, right? Though the mother of that child may not want him, and the father of that child may not want him, and the abortionist seeking his life certainly doesn't want him, God desperately wants that baby. Seeing His baby dismembered (suction abortion), burned inside and out (saline abortion), or beheaded (partial birth abortion) breaks His heart. That baby's body, life, and future were intricately planned by his heavenly father who created him with exhilaration and excitement.
You don't mess with a child of God. The same is true for the rich, the poor, the loved, the "unwanted", the joyful, the broken, the orphans, the widows, with you, with me, and with children who have yet to breathe their first breath. Don't you dare try to harm one of God's kids. He loves them to death. And therefore, commands us to do the same. You may say, "Sarah, good for you that God has given you such a passion, but stopping abortion just isn't my thing". To this I would say, pray. Pray that God will cause you to love the unborn with all your heart and I promise you He will. If you ask to have His heart, He will give it. And He will probably give you more than you initially wanted.

What does actively stopping abortion look like? I'm not 100% sure (I know it involves praying and fasting and a lot of loving, but that can sound rather vague). I do, however, know what it does not look like. It does not look like standing outside of a clinic and shouting curses at the expectant mothers. It does not look like judgement from us to them. It does not look like bitter looks or bitter hearts.
Remember what I said about messing with God's children? It applies to the mothers as well. He loves them passionately and cherishes their hearts. It breaks his heart to see what they endure and He gladly offers His ocean of grace to them. And therefore, commands us to do the same. He commands us to be full of understanding and love. Yes, abortion is wrong, horrible, and morbid. But if you have never sinned, feel free to place your judgement. However. Jesus, who hasn't sinned, will not place judgement on a contrite heart.

Now back to prayer and fasting (forgive me, I tend to step on my soap box too easily). If you are fasting and interceding with me today, I want you to know how thankful I am for your support (though I know it's not for me) and how I hope and pray that you are more blessed by this than you even expected to be and that God reveals more of His heart to you. If you are not fasting, I would ask you to pray as well whenever you can. He loves it when His children seek Him, especially on behalf of others!

Before I close, I would like to ask a question. Should we have regular days of community prayer and fasting here at All Things Considered? And if your answer is yes, then what should we fast and pray about next? Something other than abortion? Do you have anything you're dealing with? Do you have an issue on your heart? A family matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

May you have a wonderful day!

(Oh, P.S. You should totally check out Gianna Jessen, a survivor of a saline abortion. Her story and what she has to say is incredible!)

1.2.12

2012-01-02T15:58:00.000-05:00

Firstly, let me wish you a very happy new year! May it be filled with God's presence and more adventures than you expected.

I could tell you about my activities in the past few weeks; maybe my latest discoveries or perhaps a couple of humorous stories (I may tell those later), but I would honestly rather get to the point. So grab a warm cup of hot chocolate on this cold winter's day and listen to my very interesting, though quite lengthy story about God's latest development and a rather intriguing dream He gave me.

Sometime last week I was reading the book, Innocent Blood by John Ensor, which speaks primarily about abortion and taking action against it. Now, there was a time where I was greatly concerned for this issue. I prayed for it and I fasted for it. But I didn't know what else to do about it and I think this was the main reason that this topic slowly made its way to the back of my mind. After reading this book, it could no longer stay there. I looked up sermons about it (most of them by John Piper, who speaks excellently on this subject) and when I felt strong enough at heart, I researched abortion methods.
Most of you who read this are probably pro-life and know that abortion is wrong and cruel. What you may not fully understand - as I surely did not understand - is the utter grotesqueness and morbidity or this practice. It is the worst and coldest sort of murder, more brutal than my imagination could create. You may read about it here, though I would warn you that it is graphic. I read it right before bed (perhaps an unwise decision) and as I lay there in the dark, I kept asking God what I could possibly do about this. It was with a heavy heart and a mind filled with desperation and questions that I fell into a deep sleep....

In my dream, there was an abortion clinic attached to a library, which made it a very public place that received a lot of traffic and was obviously well known. In this dream, I was in nursing school and for some reason, was required to watch these doctors perform their abortions. As I stood there, I saw the many corpses and skeletons of these dead children (I still cannot get the images out of my mind) and the stoic looks on their mothers' faces. I was horrified and saw the next woman waiting to have her abortion. I cried and pleaded with her frantically over and over again not to kill her baby, but to consider giving it up for adoption instead. Her face was sad and helpless as she refused and proceeded to carry out the abortion.
Heartbroken, I went right to work, visiting the clinic every day to talk with mothers and plead for the lives of their children. Often times, I was successful and was able to save the lives of their children and also kept the mother from more heartache.
Inevitably, the staff at the clinic grew to hate me and despise my presence (especially the manager). Their eyes were filled with anger as they would often physically remove me from the building. But I never gave up. Over many months, I built many relationships with these women and young girls and also got my whole church, and eventually the whole community, passionate about doing everything they could to save our babies. Hundreds of lives were saved and hundreds of mothers found healing as God brought an extreme, passionate revival to our once dark and spiritually depraved town.
Through all this, I continued visiting the clinic and reached out to the staff as well. Eventually, I got the manager who had hated me most of all to see the bitterness in her heart and she gave her life to God, leaving her practice of death and focused on building His kingdom instead.
What happened to the clinic? It closed down. It went out of business because the young girls and women of the community repented, found grace, and began to love the children inside of them far too much to kill them. The practice of death was forced to leave our community and our peoples' hearts were turned toward cultivating life and also adoption.

The moment I woke up, I knew God had given me a dream. And it has not left my thoughts ever since.

The other day, as I once again expressed my new-found passion, I was told that I couldn't hope to solve this issue on my own. I replied that I was very thankful that I wasn't chosen to try to stop it on my own (as there are others much better suited for it), but I would work alone if I had to. If no one else ever works beside me on this issue, I will not give up. I won't let millions of our children be massacred without my strongest fight.

There is a direct correlation between abortion and the gospel and Satan knows it. Children are being literally dismembered and murdered who may have otherwise grown up to show the love of God to many people. Babies are being poisoned and killed who may have otherwise grown up to become a modern William Wilberforce or George Muller.

I could go on and on.

God's heart is grieved at the atrocities that cause the destruction of His children. It angers Him to see this terrible injustice that we stand by and watch. We can no longer plead that we did not know or are ignorant. We all know what is going on. We can find the truth about this practice of death with the click of a button. Ignorance will not stand in the courtroom of God and we will be judged according to what we did or didn't do about what we know.

January 22 is the 39th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, the ruling of the supreme court that pronounced abortion as legal, putting the desires of the mother over the life of her child. On this day of January 22, I will be praying and fasting for the repentance of America and of my community and that God will turn our hearts from darkness. I will pray that we will cultivate an attitude of love and grace for these mothers who plan to, are having, or have already had abortions and that we will no longer stand by, pleading ignorance, but will somehow be involved in stopping abortion. Would you join me?

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas (and Other News)

2011-11-07T18:30:00.000-05:00

First, let me preface with the fact that I was unaware that I haven't posted since August! Yikes!

Anyways. I suppose now would be a good time to update you on all of the recent happenings....

School is going well! I'm getting ready to finish my last semester of classes before I apply for nursing school. Everything has gone by so fast!
Church is going well also. Currently, I am helping out with the youth ministry and leading worship for the children. It has been so cool to watch these kids grow and see what God is doing in their lives even in such a short time! If you remember to pray for me, please pray that I would remember to not make anything about myself, but about Him and that God would move in the youth ministry (most of the kids there are very....troubled).
More big news is that my brother just moved here from Florida to live with us! We are all excited about this fact.

And the weather here? Well.....let me just show you a picture of the leaves on the tree outside our kitchen window....

Today, as it was cold and rainy - and all my homework was complete, thus instilling a particular joy in my heart - I decided that this needed to happen.....

Indeed, my friend, it was quite the pleasurable afternoon as I turned on the Christmas music (Michael Buble's newest album of course!), made some extra chocolate-y hot chocolate, and lovingly decorated my Charlie Brown-esque tree (yes, without the love displayed through ornaments, it is painfully bare).

Also, if any of you should attempt to ~~ruin the joy of my soul~~ remind me that Christmas isn't for another 48 days, I will ~~personally hunt you down and shove Christmas ornaments down your throat~~ have to kindly reply that we have predictions of snow this week; therefore, it is now Christmastime (Clearly, I would gladly skip Thanksgiving and all of November).

This, my friend, is all I have for you today. No time for deep thoughts or revelations. Next time, I promise to try to be more interesting :) I wish you a wonderful week, filled with fun and productivity and maybe, just maybe, the enjoyment of Eggnog hitting the stores......

8.28.11

2011-08-28T01:50:00.000-04:00

Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

This has long been one of my favorite verses. There have been many days where all throughout the day, I would simply repeat it to myself over and over again. Through every internal struggle and every change in season, this verse has, in a way, been my best friend. It's such a simple verse, but the Lord's gentle command stays with me always, even though I'm so often weak and frail.

As I said before, previous to my Uganda trip I was, quite frankly, a mess. Ask anyone close to me. It was a nightmare. Even as Cameron and I said goodbye in the airport an hour before my flight to Africa, I couldn't hold back the tears (and that was supposed to be an exciting time!). As I stood in the security line, I was sobbing and looking very pathetic, feeling utterly and indescribably alone. He could see me from where he stood and texted me, "Be strong and courageous :)". I looked up and gave him a wobbly smile.

Even since Africa, I have much hope, but I am not brave. I'm far from all the things that used to be so easy; far from many whom I love. I do love it here in Kansas but though I was raised here, it's so foreign in a way to me. Foreign and inexplicably intimidating. I often feel very alone and all that God has called me to no longer seems exciting but overwhelming. Terrifying. I know this is where I'm supposed to be for now, but I do not feel like I have what it takes in any area.

This being said, a while back, I was thinking of Joshua. My first thought when I think of him is that he was unfailingly brave and courageous, as I'm sure you think when you picture him. Then it hit me....

How many times does God tell Joshua to "be strong and courageous"? I counted seven (but I could be wrong). So I wondered, "If Joshua was already so strong and courageous, why does the Lord seem to have to continually remind to be brave? Why would a strong man need to hear something meant for frail hearts?"

Joshua did amazing things for God. But perhaps fear haunted him as much as, or more so than the rest of us. He was right in the position God wanted him, but maybe he struggled with feeling alone and terrified too. Joshua was a man. His courage did not come naturally. He doubted God's presence. But God used him to lead his people and essentially change the world.

This gives me great hope. God's power is not contingent on our own. The degree to which God uses me is much less dependent on my own courage than on my complete abandonment to His will and my stubbornness to pursue it even when I'm petrified.

God's opportunities here for me are vast and I often feel inadequate. But every so often, I hear a still small voice whispering, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go......"

8.7.11

2011-08-07T10:25:00.002-04:00

Hello! I will have you know that according to Blogger, this is my 100th post! Yay for All Things Considered! I remember back when I started in the Summer of '08......such a young, innocent blogger....ironically, that was the same Summer I rededicated my life to God. Crazy! Now here we are....

And for my 100th post, I would like to share a story! Grab a lemonade on this hot Summer day and join me :)

(Cheese Warning; and I'm not talkin' about cheddar)

471 days ago, I attended a conference called Acquire the Fire in Tampa, which my youth pastor had asked me to go to. I knew hardly anyone in our group, but was glad for the opportunity to go, regardless of my social skills ~~or lack thereof~~. Luckily, several in the group were warm and welcomed me in as one of their own.....however, in the shuffle of finding seating, my newly found friends were seated far from me and I was stuck sitting by people I had never seen in my life. In the last row. Of the entire Sun Dome Arena. I could barely see the stage, it was dark, and I knew no one. "B-but God...."

As I sat there sulking, I looked around me. To my right was a couple in our group who I recognized but didn't know well, in front of me were people who weren't in my group and therefore didn't know, and to my left was a guy from our group whom I could barely see.

"Well this sucks." I mean, I knew I was there for Jesus and whatnot, but really? It was going to be a long weekend....

As the service started and as we sat through a rather lengthy drama, the guy to my left occasionally made quite humorous comments about the predictable outcome of said drama. I laughed, "Huh, this isn't so bad....". He and I had a great time, bantering back and forth throughout the night (don't worry, he also knew when to be quiet. Like when I was sobbing as God spoke to me - but that's another story. He must have thought I was crazy).

That night I asked one of my room mates, "Hey, uh, what's that guy's name who I sat by?"
"Oh, I think his name is Cameron."
"Oh," I said nonchalantly, "Cool."

Cameron and I were pretty much instantly friends after that weekend. Our senses of humor blended perfectly and we would talk any and all chances we had. At first, we talked about music (it is a rare person indeed that can not only put up with, but appreciate my diverse musical selections), then about our days and funny stories of things that happened. As we grew closer, we talked about God, our pasts......and still about our love for music of course. Somehow, we didn't run out of things to talk about.....

(Cameron and I mostly hung out in group settings with my loud, obnoxious, fun, amazing friends. This is clearly an old picture. I think everyone in looks attractive, no?)

I had a painful past that I was still healing from (which Cameron ended up helping with quite a bit through prayer, encouragement, and as always, a good laugh), therefore, I was very much terrified of falling for anyone. Sometimes the very thought suffocated me. But like every good story, I just couldn't help it....

(For Halloween, as you may recall, we dressed up as lumberjacks. Don't worry, his hair is a wig and our axes are home-made. Maybe....)

One day, which seems like years ago in a way, he came over and told me he had fallen for me (to which, some said, "Finally". Apparently, they had known all along).

I was scared out of my skin and so very happy....

And the rest is history, so to speak (of course there is more to the story, but to type it out would take about 32 years. Come ask me about it, if you have a couple extra hours, a good cup of coffee, and are in the mood for a crazy story)......

Cameron is my hero (second to Jesus of course). He puts up with my sarcasm, my goofy laugh, and my seemingly ever increasing absent-mindedness. He has seen me through extremely dark times, has had his shirt soaked with my tears, and gets to hear about all my silly worries, all the while pointing me back to Who I should really be focusing on. It's hard living so far from each other now, but as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder......

I say all this to say, meet my boyfriend, Cameron.

Cameroon, you're a blessing to me. I thank God for you every day and pray for you often. I have no clue where He's taking us, but I know it's going to be a grand adventure. We've overcome several obstacles and I know there will be many more, but I know God will be with us. Whether we're together forever or not, I pray God's blessings exceed what you ever hoped; I know He loves you even more than I do. Thank you for being an astounding pew-buddy, fellow music-appreciator, movie-partner, board game-player, dessert-lover, and all around awesome friend.
Love, Sarah

You Can Stop Laughing at Me Now

2011-07-19T19:01:00.001-04:00

Why hello there! First, I want to say that I have come to accept my unfaithfulness to this blog. Every time, I promise to be better and post more often, but then things happen; classes, moving, deciding to make a milkshake instead of writing, going to Africa.....

Yes, I have returned from my travels bearing many stories both big and small, filled with both joy and sorrow. Feel free to grab a coffee or tea and enjoy them; they were no easy task to write.

As this summer has progressed and the beating rays of the sun prevent me from stepping outside, I have revisited several of my old and favorite friends (by "friends", I mean books of course. ~~You see, bloggers don't actually have friends. It's a myth~~). Created by my favorite I'm-Trying-Not-To-Make-You-My-Idol author, C.S. Lewis, the Narnia series has been a consistent favorite of mine.....

Stop laughing at me. Stop it.

As a child, the adventure and excitement captivated me and now, well, the adventure and excitement captivates me. But also, as I read them now, I pick up on things that Lewis meant not only for an addition to the story, or a simple dialogue, but also a profound insight. Suddenly, small comments have become sermons in my eyes and simple character interaction has become correlations to the spiritual realm.

For example (and I will explain this as best as I can, though it would be much more understandable had you read it), in the sixth book of the series, The Silver Chair, Aslan is speaking to one of the main characters, Jill, about the task which he had called her from our world and into Narnia to accomplish. She tells him he is mistaken in saying he called her since she had called on him to be brought into Narnia. To this, Aslan says, "You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you".

And then it hit me.

Most of us go through our lives as Christians believing that we are the ones who have called to God. We called to him for help, for an escape, etc and He answered us. This is true. But we're missing a part; we forget that He called to us first, before we even knew to call. His song which called us was the same song which flung the stars into motion and the same song which is in every note which the creek sings in my back yard. It's the same song which sways our cornfields and floats on the backs of hundreds of butterflies. This song is the song which God calls us to Himself with. It calls to us in its own sort or magic to enter into His world. He has been calling the whole time.....

And that, my friend, is one of my insights from my beloved Narnia "friends".

You can stop laughing at me now.

And a Happy Easter to All.....

2011-04-23T00:41:00.000-04:00

So I thought about writing an original post and then thought, "Hey, lasts year's post was great." so I decided to do a REPOST! Oh yeah. This post is so near and dear to my heart. I think it's so relevant to most of us and where we are in our lives. So with this said, I hope you enjoy :)

Happy Easter weekend! Isn't it such a great time? Flowers are blooming and families come together to celebrate one of the most monumental times in history. Friday, Jesus dies, paying the price for sin. Sunday, He raises, proving He was God and had power over death. I could say many things about either one of these days.

But what about Saturday?

The Bible doesn't say much about Saturday, but all you have to do is use your imagination to see what it was like:

Imagine you were one of Jesus' followers. Maybe you've followed him for three years, maybe three months. Either way, you've come to love him; his spirited attitude, but gentleness at the same time. You love his carefree smile and grow concerned at his troubled expression. You've seen those hands embrace people and serve them. You've dropped everything for this man, if he truly is one.
Then, you find that he's been arrested for a crime though you know he's innocent. You see him suffer a horrific death. You spend your night sleepless, troubled, devastated.
Can you imagine the next day?
You sit outside, barely able to speak. It's the sabbath so you can't even work off your pain. Who was this man? He said he would save us. He promised deliverance was coming. He spoke of freedom. Empty promises.
You have had a rough life, an outcast from everyone. He was the only one you could turn to, the only one to count on, the only one to truly love you.
There's no point of living anymore. You're bombarded with intense loneliness, despair, and unspeakable sorrow. You've cried your last tear and you now sit shaking, looking at the trees but not seeing them. Life would never be the same.

Of course, we know the next part - Jesus comes back, defeating even death and saving us, offering freedom forever. But they didn't know that. All they were left with was emptiness, unfulfilled promises, pain, even anger.

I wrote about Saturday, not Sunday, because it's the one you and I relate to best. Sunday's great, but life isn't all Resurrection Sundays. There are Saturdays, too.
I've had many Saturdays in my life, where everything is fallen. Where I can no longer even feel raindrops on my skin anymore. Where I would look out my window, but not see a thing. Where even God's arms are a questionable place to turn.
I know you can relate at least a little. Everyone's had pain. And at the time, it's all we see. We can't see the Sunday yet. We have no clue that joy is on its way and quickly approaching.

If you're at a point in your life where all you see is Saturday, it's not forever. Jesus is coming and He's bringing joy, peace and freedom with Him. It's not a trite, empty word.
I remember the first time after loss that I stood by my window (recently, actually), feeling so much joy. I could FEEL the sun again. It warmed me right down to my toes. It was wonderful. I remember thinking, "Joy DOES come in the morning. There really is peace." I had no idea that feeling existed. Sunday really did come. Just like He said.

Even as I re-read this post, I drink in the words. I'm currently working my way out of a Saturday period (which I'll write about soon). I had given up recently actually. I didn't know if I even believed in God anymore and I sure as heck knew I didn't want to be here anymore. I honestly believed that God, if He was existed, abandoned me. He was not around and I was utterly alone. All I was left with was empty promises.

I still struggle. I don't come to you with a resolved issue and say I have found the answer to always living with a Resurrection Sunday mindset. But this I hold on to: Sunday is coming, my friends. It's coming to save us all and our tears will cease and we will remember that we are not forgotten. For now though, we are left with new mercies in the morning - though we may not see it - and just enough strength to get through the day. And soon enough, we will see our Savior on Sunday morning. Joy is on its way and is quickly approaching....

2.28.11

2011-02-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

Hello there! I know it's been a while, but I just updated my Uganda blog! Read it, love it, share your thoughts with me :) Check it out here!

11.2.10

2010-11-02T23:50:00.000-04:00

~~I know, I know. I won't go away for so long again, I know. I promise....~~

Anyways! I hope you enjoyed your Halloween! I know I did! I got to dress up twice :)

An indian! And yes, I have a baby on my back.

Lumberjack :)

I even got my friend to dress up with me!

Yes, he's wearing a fake mullet. That's awesome.

What do ya think?

******

I Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

Vulnerable:

— adj
1.	capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt
2.	open to temptation, persuasion, censure, etc
3.	liable or exposed to disease, disaster, etc

Vulnerable. The origin of this word comes from the 1605 word, vulnerabilis, meaning "wounding". That's encouraging, now isn't it? Let's go out and be vulnerable today! ~~I think...over my stone dead body.~~

For those of us who have loved deeply (and especially those of us who have lost), we know that to love someone, much less love them deeply, causes us to be vulnerable; we practically give them permission to do what they choose with our heart. They are free to take our heart and either treasure it, smash it, throw it back in our faces or to simply hold it.

Maybe the biggest fear I've ever had is to be vulnerable. It honestly terrifies me and turns my heart to stone in a second. People speak of the fear of snakes or of heights or of their body getting sick, yet I'm honestly not intimidated by the physical. Spiders creep me out but if you want to strike utter terror in me, speak of either transparency, my imperfections, or the worst: vulnerability. It affects nearly every relationship I have in my life; with my friends, my family, even God sometimes.

Loving fully and deeply scares me so much because it causes me to be at risk of heartbreak. I'm sure you deal or have dealt with this before as well. True and deep love. We are so utterly terrified by the thing that is supposed to sustain us. We've been so broken by others and even by ourselves that love itself is terrifying to us. I know that for myself, I can't even properly receive love I'm so fearful of it. I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

Obviously, there's a problem here! The community of Christ is to be supported by love. How can we do that if we won't touch it with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole? I answer you by saying simply that I have no right answer. Truly. If I could come up with a formula to give, I would take it myself and give it to every person I saw. My journey is similar to yours, though our paths may be different, to find out how to love deeply, how to receive it, and how to overcome fearing vulnerability.

This I know: Christ’s love is pure and deep. He's made Himself vulnerable to us; His heart is in us whether we choose to treasure it, to smash it, to throw it back in His face or simply to hold it. We are clearly called to do the same. He never promised to shield us from heartbreak (He experiences it every day). In fact, he called us to join Him in His sufferings. But perhaps, even in our vulnerability and deepest heartbreak from someone who didn't treasure our love, could we then learn the cost of love and receive it better? I'm not sure. What do you think?

9.12.10

2010-09-12T00:56:00.000-04:00

Let me begin by saying this. I hate Florida. Some places, it's already getting chilly outside. Not here. My friend and I got in the car today and we could barely breathe it was so hot (for your information, if you want to ruin my day, show me a picture of Fall up north)!! I was sitting with a cup of coffee the other day, wishing it was less than 100 degrees outside. So depressing! Why oh why?!

Ok, I'm done ranting... for now.

Many of you are wondering how my preparations for my trip to Uganda are going. My answer to you is this: You should pray for me. :) Raising money without an income is hard. When my mom gets back from her trip to Kansas, we will be working hard on things we can sell and creative ways to earn money and other such fun stuff. I'll be sure to try to keep you updated.

On another note, I was thinking a while back on worship; all it encompasses, what it really means. And I was also thinking about the story in the bible where David wants to make an altar for the Lord and goes to buy land for it. The guy who's selling it says, "Well I'll just give it to you, ox, land, everything! That way it won't cost you a thing. God will still accept you." And David says, "No! I won't offer God something that cost me nothing."

David refused to worship God with something that came so easily to him. So I thought about this in relation to worship; firstly during church, then through money, then in lifestyle in general.

I wrote a note on this a while ago actually. It's sort of long, but I found writing it insightful:

As a naturally physically conservative worshiper, I rarely feel comfortable raising my hands, jumping, etc. [honestly, one reason is that I've become quite jaded in that area from people just doing it to appear more spiritual to others, pleasing their pride instead of God's heart, so I'd avoided it altogether out of cynicism, to be frank, as well as generally feeling uncomfortable anyway]... even though it's church....so I devote my heart, but never my body in worship, thinking it's enough. I can, after all, worship on the inside; then people won't give me looks. But why would I give God something that costs me nothing? Is that even worship?

Then I may be in a place where I feel totally comfortable in worship. Everyone's doing it. So I don't mind. But again, why would I give God something that costs me nothing? Is that even worship?

I remember a time where I said, "Forget everyone else, I'm going to devote myself to worship." And God's presence was incredible.

If I'm bringing an offering, it must be something of value, something that costs me. If it's completely comfortable to give, it's of no value. It's like an old t-shirt. "Here, I didn't need it anyway." But He's worth more.

If I'm giving money as worship, it better cost something. If I give money to charity, since I have plenty, and it costs nothing to me, is it worship?

If it's not valuable to me, why would it me valuable to God?

If my worship isn't costing me something (pride, dignity, comfort, money), it probably isn't worship.

Worship comes out of gratitude and love for the Lord, not out of excess or comfort. This humble worship is pure, valuable and beautiful.

What do you think? I felt very challenged and enlightened when God revealed this to me. I hope you feel the same :)

Well, I've gotta hit the sack. Busy day tomorrow! I hope you have a great Sunday! xoxo

8.2.10

2010-08-02T23:32:00.000-04:00

Hello! I hope you have been well while I have been ~~slacking~~ taking a Blogger break! How do you like my new look? Pretty snazzy, eh? :)

Ok, I promise I wrote for a reason! I have a story! Gather around, have a seat and I'll share!

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27

So it's probably no secret that missions and caring for orphans and widows is my passion. But I rarely have the opportunity to do so. Yes, it's very frustrating to have a passion for something you can't often do. So I've been praying for God to provide a way that I can. Particularly, I wanted to sponsor a kid through Compassion. But where in the world would I get money every month?! But I felt like He was saying, Just get the first payment. If I've told you to do something, I'll provide the rest.
There was just one problem. I was flat out BROKE. I had negative money (yes, I owed money). Hm, this is not conducive to ministry...
Well, a few days ago, I received a check in the mail for my birthday. Enough to pay what I owed and for my first payment of sponsorship.
How amazing is that!
It just goes to show us, once again, God's provision for us when we decide to do what He says. :)

So I happily jumped onto Compassion.com and looked for a child (it was difficult because I wanted ALL of them!). And this little girl jumped out of the page at me!

Her name is Harriet! She's five-years-old. She loves to sing, and run and tell stories. She is beautiful and charming and she rekindled my fire for where God has called me...

Restoration.

2010-06-09T00:30:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting here well after one in the morning because I cannot sleep; my back is in too much pain. I've had problems with my back for a while, but recently it's gotten much worse. We don't really know what's wrong yet, but I'm not going to lie; it's very painful. I'm so sleepy but can't get comfortable. All day, I've winced with almost every movement.
It's times like these where it would be so easy to feel sorry for myself and forget that there are other people hurting, too. There are people just like me dying of incurable diseases like cancer. They are in pain and in danger of death. Who am I to complain? Praise God I'm breathing.

On a different note, on Sunday, I was reflecting on this past year for me. I've lost so much. I've been through times I didn't want to make it out of. I've cried buckets of tears.
And as I sat there crying, my mom would tell me that God would restore what was lost. I hardly believed her. But He was already at work.
I'm looking back now and I see that God has, once again, proven Himself faithful. I lost so much. But He has restored and given back ten, twenty, a hundred times over. He's placed the most precious people in my life (if you're reading this, you're most likely one of them). I wouldn't trade them for anything, not even for all I've lost. Each one of them is special and I have a unique relationship with every one.
I've been blessed a hundred times over.

I don't know where you are right now; if you're going through loss, if you're in the process of restoration, or if God has already fulfilled His promise to you. If you're going through loss, hang on. Restoration is on its way. If you're still in the restoration process, don't give up; it may take a while, but God is working behind your back as we speak. If God has fulfilled a promise, the best is yet to come...

5.27.10

2010-05-26T00:19:00.003-04:00

And so summer begins, my friend. We all feel it. The air, thick enough to serve on a plate. The sun, bright and hot enough to burn our retinas. But ah, the activities. The end of school is impending. The beach beckons. And so summer begins.

I spent my saturday out on the lake boating, tubing, and accumulating a painful sunburn, which - thanks to my cherokee ancestors - will soon be a tan. My weekend was carefree, spent laughing with friends and actually enjoying Florida. Imagine that. :)

I've spent some time in my mind thinking of the letter in Revelation to the church of Laodicia, the lukewarm church. Jesus declares to them that He will spit them out of his mouth. How He wishes they would at least be known for something! They aren't known for heat, nor coolness. They are lukewarm.

Don't you hate lukewarm things?

I love drinking water. But it has to be ice-cold. Anything less is....well, just nasty. I prefer it to be icy and refreshing.

I love showers. But they have to be hot. Anything less is disappointing. If the water isn't on the verge of scalding my skin, something's wrong.

Drink lukewarm water. Most will spit it out and get some fresh water. Take a lukewarm shower. Most will wait for the hot water to come back.

Jesus says the same. Care or don't, but choose a side. Indifference is frustrating.

But what causes a person to be lukewarm? I mean, surely it doesn't happen overnight. Correct, it doesn't. Apathy is not overnight, just as growth and passion isn't. It's a series of choices. Not one big one. Well, maybe I'll read my Bible later. I'm beat.....Yeah, so what if it's been a few days since I've prayed? I can do that anytime......Come on, I just want to fit in. No one else really worships anyway.
Ever notice a wedge? It's tiny at the tip. But wide at the base. If there's a wedge between you and God, you won't probably notice the tip. It's tiny. And it's such a subtle ride to the base, not many notice. But somehow, they slowly, slowly, slowly become apathetic. They get nice and comfortable. They forget what a passionate person God is. They soon and subconsciously believe that God is as indifferent as they are.
But He's not. He isn't even slightly indifferent to whether you or I are close to Him. He runs after us, hoping we'll see how He loves us.

We think the little things, the little everyday decisions don't matter, but they do. Little things are important. Little things can slowly take us further from God or bring us back. Little things are life and death, they separate the cold from the war, the apathetic from the passionate.

5.3.10

2010-04-26T22:25:00.002-04:00

Hello! I know, I haven't written since Easter. Give me a break, ok? ;)
It feels like so much has been going on; I don't really know where to begin.

This week, we discovered a bird's nest in a tree near our house. The mother left her two baby birds. That night, we worried about them; it was so cold! My mom went to check on them and she said they were crying and shivering! So we took them in and put them in a basket with a heating pad. I got to hold them and feed them with a dropper! The tiniest one died the next day, but it looked like the bigger one was doing well. We named it Avery (since it sort of sounds like aviary). But the next day, I came home from my SAT and it had died. :(
My mom said, "I will never do that again! They died!" I said, "Well, at least the last few days before, they had love!"

So, last week, I went to a conference called Acquire the Fire with my youth group. It was so good!!! I got closer to my friends, met new friends, and had new thoughts about God. So good!
I hadn't gotten my new camera yet, so there are no pictures. :(
One of my favorite moments of the conference was the first session about God's love for us. I realized a huge problem that I hadn't consciously realized. I realized, I truly believe that God is going to leave. I have always had abandonment issues, but recently they've gotten worse. I realized that it got to the point where I believe it about everyone, even God. And I knew His word stated differently, but it didn't change how I felt (you see, I can be quite irrational sometimes). I discovered that I live in a constant state of fear. I couldn't stop crying and I felt so embarrassed because I was sitting by people I didn't know. It was pretty funny actually, I thought, Please don't see me in this state! Haha! It was good to realize the problem because I can now work to fix it.

So I feel like I'm very boring because I never post any pictures. What do you think? Should I start taking more pictures to post or is this fine? Because sometimes, posts aren't worth reading unless there's a picture or two. Comment and tell me what you think. :)

Well, I've gotta run. I hope you are doing well and enjoying your spring weather!

Easter Saturday

2010-04-02T17:41:00.004-04:00

Happy Easter weekend! Isn't it such a great time? Flowers are blooming and families come together to celebrate one of the most monumental times in history. Friday, Jesus dies, paying the price for sin. Sunday, He raises, proving He was God and had power over death. I could say many things about either one of these days.
But what about Saturday?
The Bible doesn't say much about Saturday, but all you have to do is use your imagination to see what it was like:

Imagine you were one of Jesus' followers. Maybe you've followed him for three years, maybe three months. Either way, you've come to love him; his spirited attitude, but gentleness at the same time. You love his carefree smile and grow concerned at his troubled expression. You've seen those hands embrace people and serve them. You've dropped everything for this man, if he truly is one.
Then, you find that he's been arrested for a crime you know he didn't commit. You see him suffer a horrific death. You spend your night sleepless, troubled, devastated.
Can you imagine the next day?
You sit outside, barely able to speak. It's the sabbath so you can't even work off your pain. Who was this man? He said he would save us. He promised deliverance was coming. He spoke of freedom. Empty promises.
You've had a rough life, an outcast from everyone. He was the only one you could turn to, the only one to count on, the only one to truly love you.
There's no point of living anymore. You're bombarded with intense loneliness, despair, and unspeakable sorrow. You've cried your last tear and you now sit shaking, looking at the trees but not seeing them. Life would never be the same.

Of course, we know the next part - Jesus comes back, defeating even death and saving us, offering freedom forever. But they didn't know that. All they were left with was emptiness, unfulfilled promises, pain, even anger.

I wrote about Saturday, not Sunday, because it's the one you and I relate to best. Sunday's great, but life isn't all Resurrection Sundays. There are Saturdays, too.
I've had many Saturdays in my life, where everything is fallen. Where I can no longer even feel raindrops on my skin anymore. Where I would look out my window, but not see a thing. Where even God's arms are a questionable place to turn.
I know you can relate at least a little. Everyone's had pain. And at the time, it's all we see. We can't see the Sunday yet. We have no clue that joy is on it's way and quickly approaching.

If you're at a point in your life where all you see is Saturday, it's not forever. Jesus is coming and He's bringing joy, peace and freedom with Him. It's not a trite, empty word.
I remember the first time after loss that I stood by my window (recently, actually), feeling so much joy. I could FEEL the sun again. It warmed me right down to my toes. It was wonderful. I remember thinking, "Joy DOES come in the morning. There really is peace." I had no idea that feeling existed. Sunday really did come. Just like He said.

Send Sarah to KC!

2010-03-26T22:55:00.006-04:00

I'm actually writing this post to enter in a thing where people are sharing their hopes and needs, found at http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/ (sorry, my link thing wasn't working). A few questions which must be included are:
1. Do I tithe? Yes, I do.
2. What church do I attend? I attend Real Life Christian Church in Clermont Fl.
3. Am I involved in my church at all? Yes, very much so. I lead small groups, attend the youth group and the adult services, as well as other little groups and events.
4. What is my need? Well, here we go:

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my good friend on the phone who was in Kansas all summer last year at a camp. She was telling me about it.
The camp is hosted by the International House of Prayer. She said there's a part of the camp for learning how to lead worship and prayer meetings (which is so for me because worship is my heart), a part for general teachings and activities and a part about social justice where we'll serve the poor (another part of my heart).

Something snapped in me and I said, "Sari, I have to go... No, you don't understand, I must go to this camp this summer!" Right then, I felt something pulling me there, but I wanted to make sure it was worth it, so I asked on a scale of one to ten how much it changed her life. She said, "Sarah, I'm serious, probably a ten."

I looked up the information and to go, I'll probably need about $1500 to $2000 dollars. I will be gone for six to seven weeks learning about God and going deeper with Him and learning the things listed above. I will be staying with my good friend and her family, as well as visiting my own family there.

I have to go to this camp; I feel like God is planning to meet me there. I want to fall more in love with Him, to taste and be satisfied yet yearn for more of Him (if that makes sense). I want to love Him more and help people who need it. I know it may seem small to you, but this is so important to me.

Yes, this is a lot of money to earn. But if God wants me to go, He'll provide a way. However, I am working hard toward it. God won't provide if I'm just sitting around on my butt all day messing around. He'll provide, but I do plan on working for it.

The night I decided to go, I stayed up till 4:45am finding all I could sell to earn some money, as well as babysitting. I'm working very hard in school and at home and at peoples' homes so can earn my way. But I can't do it without God intervening.

I have about two months and twenty-six days to earn this money; about 87 days. Let's see what kind of miracles God does. ;)

P.S. If you'd like to make a donation, leave a comment. *hint hint* hehe ;)

3.5.10

2010-03-05T23:30:00.002-05:00

Hello! I hope you are doing well! I hope this winter isn't too long for you all. I'm loving it, but I know many don't (why?).
As for me, I'm getting over being sick. I thought I was better and then had a horrid coughing spell in the grocery store today. People gave me weird looks :/
But the worst part of being sick was not the sore throat, not the headaches, not the dizziness, not the runny nose and not the coughing. It was not being able to sing! Friend, you just have no idea. It's awful when you can't sing. I may lose my mind soon. Singing's the only thing I would miss if I lost the "privilege" of having a voice. I don't think I'd be devastated if I couldn't speak; it would probably be beneficial in fact (my tongue gets me in trouble often). But no singing? I'd probably die or something.
Glad to be getting that back soon! :)

So I went to my sister-in-law's (Cassie!) birthday party the other day. It was so fun (but I forgot my camera).
It's so interesting, every time I'm at her and my brother's house.
To preface, he loves to entertain. He loves cooking and people and God. It's a good combination really. And there's a group of people who are there very frequently; very good friends of ours.
Every time we get together, every time we sit around the table, there's a special feeling I get. Like, "This is how it should be."
We're all so different. Such a diverse people. But we all care about each other and about God. We're different but the same. It' so cool.
I feel like this is how a lot of the early church was. Yes, there was probably singing and a lot of praying, but I believe a lot of it was sitting around with food talking about life, about Jesus. Being a community. We're all gathered in the name of God and love, and He's there. We don't stress about perfection, just about people.
For me, church isn't just in a building. It's everywhere. It's in our homes, it's in the streets, it's in our hearts. Church is in our conversations, in our relationships. Church is community.

Well, I've gotta run. It's late. Hope you have a wonderful week! :) xoxo

2.15.10: The Orphan Part 2

2010-02-15T20:11:00.005-05:00

Hey! I hope you had a great/awesome Valentine's Day with your friends, family or sweetheart. I know I had a great day with my sweetheart. He's pretty sweet. He's got the biggest heart of anyone know! I know he would do anything for me. Oh, his name's Jesus by the way. ;)

So! I was so excited to continue from the last post! I had some really important stuff I wanted to share. But, I wrote it a while back...and I went to the draft....and it deleted. I have such a back memory; I don't know if I can remember everything. :( But it's important, so, if God wants it said, it will be said.

So, in the last post, I talked about the need to adopt. But! I know that some of us aren't in a position to adopt (like myself). Whether you it's not possible financially, or you're too young (as I am), don't worry! You can still do something!

I will list options (not in order of importance)and then discuss each in detail:

1. Donate

2. Get involved in an organization

3. Spread awareness

4. Pray

Ok, I know we're not made of money in these days. I'm sooo aware of that. But firstly, God's going to bless every penny you put into helping His people. And he will repay it one way or another (whether through money, or other blessings, He will. It may be now, or years from now or in Heaven, which would last forever). Secondly, think about it. You probably have small purchases which you treat yourself to every week. I know I do! You know how it is.... "Oh my, doesn't that Starbucks look tempting..." or, "Mmmm...that smoothie looks delicious...come to mama *sluuurp*" or my most guilty loves, "Oh man, that shirt/pair of socks/ bit of makeup is sooo cute! And so cheeeeap! It's only a couple bucks, no harm."

But if we combined all the money we spent on that and donated it, so many people could get the help they need. So, trust me, I know it's difficult. But you should try stopping it with those purchases of things you really don't need to survive from and be a better steward. After all, it's all God's anyway.

So, number two. Get involved with an organization. There are many organizations which help orphans so much! I know that Danita's Children, which are now helping with relief efforts in Haiti, have their offices in Orlando and could use some volunteers (click here to find out more). Here are some organizations I love (which aren't limited to just orphans):

Number three. Spread awareness. Yes, there are people out there who 1. Don't know about these huge issues and 2. Who would care about it. I've always thought everyone knew about these problems, but I guess they don't. Yes, many know and sadly, don't care. But your job is not to make them care, that's God's Job. Yours is to tell them.

Number four is to pray. Do you truly believe God moves mountains? Do you know it not just in you head, but in your heart as well that God can do anything? Do you actually believe in the power of prayer? Than use it for heaven's sake (um, and the orphan's)!!!

Why are we so apathetic to something that is killing these people?? The orphan is your brother, she's your sister, your cousin, your daughter and son. They are real! They have feelings! A mother is weeping every night because she can do nothing as her daughters and sons die before her eyes because their organs are shutting down from lack of food. A young girl is frightened every night because since she couldn't find a family or home by the time she ages out of the orphanage, she's forced into prostitution (i.e. the multimillion dollar industry of rape, which the prostitute often doesn't even see a penny). A boy is exhausted and sore tonight because his family accepted a loan from a supposedly nice guy who now owns them all as slaves because they couldn't pay him.

How could you do nothing as your own family member dies in the alley because no one who could help cared enough to? Where is our passion for this? It does affect you. If not now, it will.

The cry echos mournfully across the world. Their cry won't be silenced. Not by T.V., or music, or relationships.

It's clear God's heart is for the orphan, the widow, the fatherless. There's no questioning that. So where's our heart for them? Does it exist? Or is it just not found yet because we haven't asked God to reveal it yet?

1.31.10

2010-01-31T22:18:00.002-05:00

Hello! As promised, I'm back here to write what I was going to say earlier. :)

Sometimes ago, I was lying in bed just thinking about how much I wanted God. I mean, I was just ready to run wherever I needed to to find Him. I was done with worldly things such as relationships or things. I just wanted God. Nothing else mattered. So, I wrote this. It's not a poem or song (which I usually write when feeling this way), it's more like a letter:

If You were at the bottom of a valley, I would come for You. If You were at the top of a mountain, I would climb to You. If You were across the desert, I would run to You. If You were at the bottom of the ocean, I would swim to You. If You were in the woods, if You were in the deepest mine, I would search till I found You.

If You were untamable, I would still chase You till the world fades...

I would follow You forever, doomed to be a nomad for eternity. I would chase You endlessly, destined to run forever. I would search forever, meant to yearn endlessly.

I didn't even get done writing this and I felt like God interrupted and said, "No. I would do all this for you...and I did it.". It was a BAM moment. I was so touched.

Really, read back over it; God not only would do that for you, He did. He searched and searched everywhere to get to us (see parable of the lost coin). He moved the universe to be with us. That's how much He loves us.

It just made me think, so I thought I'd share it with you. :)

I would probably write more, but I have to go now. You have a great week! xoxo

2.13.10: The Orphan Part 1

2010-01-16T01:09:00.004-05:00

Hello! I hope you all are enjoying this winter weather wherever you are (though chances are, you're not).

I was writing to someone the other night and I just wanted to share with you what I wrote because it's very close to my heart and maybe you will know me better by it. :) It's rather long, so, if you have time, grab some coffee and get comfortable. Let's chat. :)

I was speaking of adoption and wrote:

I have always wanted it. When I was a little girl (about five), I would watch those commercials with orphans in slums and wonder why we couldn't just bring one (or five) home; we had a house, we had food, we had love. What else is there? :)

This desire persisted through all my years. A few years ago, in a very short span of time, I had many many dreams were I adopted. They were the only dreams that made sense, that had a plot and purpose.

I remember in one, I went to South America and met a little boy who had no parents (he was living on the streets). I wanted to adopt him so bad. His name was Alejandro. He was an adorable boy, very smart. I had to return home, but I promised I would come back for him.

I'll never forget him...I know it sounds strange, but sometimes, it feels like a very distinct part of me is missing. As if I was given a gift for a moment and then had it taken away.

I do wish he was here. I long to wipe away his tears. To kiss his boo-boos. To stroke his hair from his sleeping face. To love him.

You may say, "Ah, Sarah, he never existed." Yes he did! Alejandro exists. He lives everywhere. On the streets, in gangs, in orphanages.

He wonders where love is, why he has no mother to show him gentleness, no father to teach him how to be a man.

He has no one to hold him. No one to show him his worth.

Alejandro is small, he's big, he has brown eyes, blue eyes, brown skin, white skin...and no mommy.

Please, you must see how I must come for him.

God, after all, adopted you and I. We weren't His own. We were strangers in a strange land. But His heart broke because we had no one to love us, protect us, save us. So, He just had to have us. He paid the ultumate adoption price (his life) because He would not allow us to be alone or stolen by sin. He said to loneliness, to darkness, "No! You will not have him/her!"

I must do the same...

It is so weird, like I said, it's as if I'm not complete without the children from all my dreams here for me to stroke their hair, or hold them and watch them grow and teach them.

Sometimes, when I work in the nursery at church, I'll hold a crying baby and say, "Can I bring you home with me?"
I dream of having many children, ones with light skin, ones with brown skin, ones with blue eyes, green eyes, or brown ones. I dream of having many children, ones to kiss goodnight, to wipe their faces from tears or gravy.

I know God gave those dreams for a reason. I know he took that part of me that's missing so I would pursue it later. I know I am called to adoption. Are you? I'm not sure. But you are called to care for them in any way you can. James 1:27

01.16.10

2010-01-15T21:40:00.002-05:00

Hello! I hope your new year is going well!
This year has been great for me so far! I've had my moments of sadness, but I have a feeling this year will be unforgettable. I have a deep sense that it will be a testing, difficult year, but amazingly rewarding. If it's anything like this past year, I will be a totally different person next January. Look me up then. :)

This year, I'm hoping, praying that God brings many people into my path from unexpected places so that He can be glorified. I'm praying that I'll have new fire and boldness (not being insane, but bold and confident in who God is in me) to speak to people about Him and/or show them His love, which transcends my own.
I'm praying for my heart to be broken with compassion, to love the weak and downtrodden, to defend the widow and orphan, to not fit in, but stand out, to be tested.
Yikes! That's a dangerous prayer isn't it? It means not being comfortable, maybe hurting. It means being out of my comfort zone. It means maybe being embarrassed of myself sometimes, maybe getting made fun of. It means pushing away pride and working towards His glory, not mine.
It may be a passionate prayer, but it's not feel-good. On that note, I'm praying the same for you, on the other side of my screen, as well (for real). :)

This year, I have learned so much. I'm a different person. I look back on earlier this year and think, "Dang, Sarah girl, you were almost a child,". I'm not the same as I was then, thank God.
As for a few of the important things I learned:

Dreams do come true, no matter what they say.
Living without God, for me, is like living without air. It chokes and suffocates and makes living for a long period of time impossible. I would die.
God is present, especially when I don't feel Him, especially when He's silent.
I am beautiful. Not because of looks, but because of Christ in me.

A few small things:

Always wear mismatched socks. (you'd be surprised at how much more interesting life gets)
Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend; chapstick is.
A game of cowboys/pirates/ninjas with your siblings/friends is crucial to the enjoyment of life.
Be crazy every once in a while, it's ok. Sing into your hairbrush, draw yourself a mustache, speak in a british accent and call yourself Miss Victoria Spellings (if you're a girl) or Sir Joseph Pootley (if you're a guy). Just do it, I promise, you'll be fine.

These are just a few things I've learned this year. What have you learned?

12.26.09

2009-12-26T15:01:00.006-05:00

Hello! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! I hear that all you in Kansas were snowed in for Christmas. It was in the seventies here. *super-sweet-smile* Merry Christmas to you. :)

So I just finished this book I got yesterday for Christmas. It's by Max Lucado's daughter, Jenna. It's called Redefining Beauty. I loved it! I highly recommend it for all my gals out there. I couldn't put it down last night in bed; I ended up staying up past two in the morning until I couldn't keep my eyes open. It was about seeing ourselves (us girls) the way God sees us.

Anyway, a part of it reminded me about this one time that I was sitting next to this girl a couple years ago at youth group. I didn't look great or anything, but she would glance over and me and then at herself. She would glance, fix her shirt to make it hide extra "stuff", glance again, look at her nails (mine had a pattern on them), glance again and look very disappointed with herself. I'm not being vain at all; she was just clearly self-conscious which broke my heart because I wanted to tell her that she was beautiful the way she was.
I thought, "How ironic? She is comparing herself to me and she doesn't know that I compare myself with the girl next to me, who probably does the same to the next girl."

It's so interesting isn't it?
I'll see my friends who want to be like me and I think they're crazy.
All my life, I've compared myself to other people. I've hated my brown eyes and the shape of my face and the freckles that only dwell under one eye and all these other things which is ridiculous because that's how God made me! He made me with only one dimple on my face, He made me with freckles under one eye, He made me with hair that can't decide if it's curly or straight. He made me with so many quirks, but that's ok, because that's what makes me unique and odd and different from you on the other side of my screen.
We do this on the inside too, don't we? We compare personalities almost more than appearance.
I know that for me, it's usually, Why can't I keep my mouth shut? Why did those words fly out of my mouth like a flock of doves? Why can't I be more graceful like so-and-so? Why can't I be more calm and less chatty?
I know you do the same thing. Maybe it's, Why can't I break out of my shell? Why can't I be patient like so-and-so?
But we were made like this! God made me to be lively and spirited, He made me to draw people out and to be funny, He made me to love odd things like crazy socks and chap-stick and colored pens. He made me like this. Which is ok, because that makes you and I different.
My personality quirks, my appearance quirks make Him laugh and bring joy to others.
Does that mean I'll never compare myself to other people? No! It may be ridiculous to do so, but I do a lot of ridiculous things that make no sense. But we can at least help each other see us like God sees us more of the time. So, let's do this together.
If we're together and you see me comparing myself to someone else, call me out on it. And I'll do the same; if I catch you comparing yourself, I'll pinch you and knock some sense through you. :)
Well, I always try to make these relatively short, but it never works. Sorry. :p
I'll let you go now! xoxo

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T19:08:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas!
I can't write now, but my friend, Kasen, wrote this poem that I thought was so good. So I decided to post it on here!

A little girl wandered on Christmas Eve,
In awe at the toys, and most everything.
A big tree decked with trimmings and lights,
Red Santas and snowmen, what a beautiful sight.
"Joy to the world, Good fortune to all,"
Rang the bustling music, throughout the mall.
"Love one another, and love your life,"
Read a poster, a secret, to live without strife.
Then popped a question, in this little girl's head.
She thought, and thought, then finally said,
"What is true love, What is this thing?
Is it being nice and not rude or mean?"
She then went on a quest to find out this thing,
To find what love's one true meaning means.
She asked person and people all through the town,
She asked adults and children in the large crowd.
They all said the season was all about love,
But none never knew what this sacred thing was.
The girl thought and thought, then was confused,
"Well then," she said, "What was the use?
If none never never knew and no one could say,
Then what is the point of this holiday?"
Then a man with a beard of snow white,
Found and told her of true love that night.
He said, "Christmas is about Him," and pointed up high,
"The man who came way before your time.
Christmas was this baby's day.
God gave Him to us and angles did say,
'Glory to God for his only son,
Who was born to die, He was the ONE.'
"It is His love that we celebrate,
Today is His day that we re-create."
"But what is TRUE love?" the girl asked again,
"What does it mean?" and then he began.
"Love is loving the unlovable,
And reaching to touch the untouchable.
It's seeing past their hate and anger,
Just like the man did, who was born in a manger."
The little girl's face was bursting with joy,
To know that love was no longer a toy.
She finally knew what true love was,
It was a gift that came from up above.

12.14.09

2009-12-14T13:11:00.004-05:00

Hey there!

...Pretty much, I'm so excited about Christmas. Yes! Its finally time to have a good excuse to bake cookies and yummy things without even having to provide a reason when asked why! "Uh...are you serious? Need I even say it? It's Christmas! Jesus finally came down here to save us, therefore, we bake cookies and stick trees in our living rooms. Duh..."

So, at youth group last night, I was sitting at a table with my friends and I got asked about the ring on my finger. So, I went on to explain that it means I won't dishonor my future husband by being impure physically or mentally.

A boy sitting next to me said, "I really respect you for that," and went on to explain that he wished he had done the same thing, but that he hadn't. He looked down and said he was quite impure. I said, "Not anymore," since he's now a new creation in Christ. He said he wished everyone said that when he told them and basically said that many condemn him for it.

This upset me. How can people do that? I'm not saying the things he did are right or ok, they weren't. They were wrong. But if God, Who is holiest, can forgive him and not condemn him, why wouldn't I, as a sister in Christ, do the same? We all fall down.

After this boy told me this, I just felt like I had to apologize on behalf of everyone. I was so embarrassed. I actually didn't know that people of God condemned like that. After all, people of God are supposed to be loving and understanding. Not spiteful and nasty.

What if God did that to us? What if I messed up really bad and God said, "Oh...uh, I don't think this will work out between us. It's not you, it's me...actually, it's you....I just can't forgive that...." Wouldn't that be terrible?! So if God, who hates sin, can forgive it, I think we can.

Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you about it, because I found it interesting.

So! On Friday, my church is hosting a concert for Bethany Dillon, Shane & Shane and Phil Wickham! Ahhh! I'm so excited! I can't wait. If you want to come with me, you're certainly welcome to! It's $10 dollars and you can order them here! I would love to see you there!

Lastly, I know, I'm terrible about posting pictures. I'm sorry. So, here's some of me, my brother and sister at the park!

12.10.09: My story

2009-12-10T22:18:00.004-05:00

Hello! I hope you are having a good week are aren't too stressed with Christmas things yet. :)
We finally decorated our Christmas tree tonight! I'm sitting here looking at it and it's pretty much amazing. I did a good job (Yes, I decorated the nine-foot tree with designer and family ornaments single-handed). Pictures to follow!

I had lunch with a friend today, whom I haven't seen since April or May; she was my leader at my youth group last year. It was very nice! We got to talk about this year and all the events. We caught up on the events in our lives this year.
It turns out, she had a friend who was there at the same time working on her computer and we all talked; I love meeting new people! Eventually, we got on the subject on how I came to know God. And I thought I'd share it here! So grab a cup of coffee and let me tell you my story about that.

Well, I grew up in church. I believed in God and even liked Him at times. I wasn't a severely abused child or anything like that. But I didn't take loving Jesus very seriously. I basically grew up on my parents' faith.
Things started getting harder when I was thirteen (which I wrote about here in April, I believe. Be sure to read it; it's a major part of this). It was a hard, dark time in my life which wasn't made any better since I wasn't side-by-side with God. I felt unloved and unneeded and wished to end it all. Luckily, God intervened on my dark thoughts with a song.
From then on, I started thinking about taking Jesus a little more seriously.
Last summer, summer of '08, I was on a trip to Kansas for my birthday. I went alone and it was a real turning point in my life. I remember reading my Bible in bed one night. I stopped reading, looked about the room and said, "Ok, God. I'm afraid to trust You, but here I am. I'm not mine anymore, I'm totally Yours. Do whatever you want, I'm living to love and serve You."
(note: I made the decision to love Him, and then I had feelings for Him. Not the other way around. Commitment comes first)
My life started getting crazy a month later.
Ever since then, it's been non-stop action. Some of it has been the best, most beautiful times, and some have hurt like nothing I've ever felt before; like words I can't say. In fact, most of it has been hard. It's been the hardest year. But the best. I've learned more this year than my whole life combined. I've helped more people, loved more people than ever. I've had dreams broken, dreams met. None would have happened without Him.
I've experienced more of God this year than ever. I hadn't seen His beauty like this before! I've seen Him in everything! He's spoken to me, showed my things I would have never known or imagined. Just this year.
How good of Him to allow me the privilege of seeing Him! I'm just me, and He's....Him! I get to serve Him and then He teaches me things and spends time with me!
I could go on forever, but I'll save it for another post. ;)
Thank you for listening to my story! I know, it's dull compared to many, but dear to my heart nevertheless. You have a good time this week at those Christmas parties! xoxo

12.04.09

2009-12-04T12:44:00.004-05:00

Hola! Sorry it's been a while, I've been busy with my trip to Kansas and other such things. I just got home yesterday. I'm sooo glad to be home! Not that I had a horrible time in Kansas, but it's just hard to be away from home for so long (three weeks), especially with things being kind of difficult for the past few months; home is sometimes a much better place to be.

As far as my activities and adventures in Kansas goes, I had a wonderful time! It was so great to see my friends and my family and visiting my old church and seeing how everyone is. The weather was cold and cloudy most of the time, but we had a couple really beautiful days, too. I didn't get to see any snow, though, which is what I was hoping for. :(

After we left Kansas on Thanksgiving, we went to my grandparent's "get away" house in the woods of Missouri (it sounds big and nice, but it's very small and...quaint. haha.We all love it so much though!). We had a second thanksgiving there with them the next day and spent the whole weekend there sitting by the fire, riding four wheelers and chowing down on post-thanksgiving snacks.

We left on Sunday and went to Branson for a few days. Our cousins and their son met up with us there and we hung out and have a marvelous time!

We left on Wednesday morning and got back yesterday and have been unpacking and catching up on things since.

Yesterday, I decorated my Christmas tree (I have a mini one in my room). Hanging proudly near the top is and ornament I got in Branson (I get a new ornament every year). It is a tarnished silver dove with a pattern and "hope" written on it.
I saw it and thought it was so fitting for this time in my life. Even though things are hard, I've decided hope is the theme of my year this year. Even when things are dark, there will always be hope. Hope for a time of joy, hope for a bright future, hope for a time when a moment of happiness won't be immediately followed by brokenness and disappointment.
This year is a year of hope and renewal. I won't be forgetting this year. This year is important and pivotal in the development of my future. It will count.
Well, I have to go! You have a great week! xoxo

11.17.09

2009-11-17T23:50:00.002-05:00

Hello!
Guess what. I'm in Kansas! I bet you knew that, but I thought it bared repeating. The weather today was rainy and cold. I'd say forties. I was a-shiverin'!
Oh! On Sunday night, I went to Ihop (International House of Prayer). It was amazing! I went because my friend said that recently, God's presence was so strong there, that many people have been barely able to speak. So me and my friend went together.
Oh goodness. It was amazing.
There were hundreds of people there and worship was amazing. Misty Edwards led it. One of the songs was "Revelation Song" (if you haven't heard it, you've got to look it up). By the middle of the song, I could barely sing and mascara stains in the shapes of tear drops covered my shirt. It just struck me how Holy He truly is. He's so holy and how privileged are we to enter His throne room. We're only humans and He is God. How can we speak?
After worship, we had prayer. That was awesome. People were getting healed and God was there. It was amazing.
There were also baptisms. It was so cool! You would've loved it. Some people got saved and baptised that very night! I think there were over fourteen baptisms and every time, there were people surrounding them praying and hundreds of people cheering. It was so great.
Throughout the night (we were there about seven hours), I was wondering why it seemed so right, like this was how it should be. And it occurred to me, "Well, duh. This is what we were made for," Firstly, for worship. Secondly, for community. It was truly what I believe heaven will be like. Being with God (only more so than now), singing forever without losing your voice, and being with other People of God.
At the end, they played a joyful song and we all sang and danced.
It was one of those perfect moments that you hope you'll never forget; where problems fade and glory is revealed. It was heavenly.
Oh! And at the end, this random lady, who I've never seen before, came up to me and said, "The Lord gave me a word to give to you," I, astonished, said, "Me?" She nodded and walked away. I read the paper she gave me. It talked about how my beauty captivated the King and how He knows my heart and sees the desires He placed in my heart and longs to fulfill them if I let Him; how He'll show me things that can't be seen with the naked eye and how He'll take me on a great adventure. It said other things too.
I smiled the whole time I read it.
What's funny, is I had someone else tell me a word from God only a week before. I had prayed in church and the lady I was praying with said, "I felt like God wanted me to tell you that He is very pleased with you and who you are; not by what you do, who you are."
I do not get words from God every day, or every week, or every month. So this is very exciting for me and I can't wait to see where it leads. :)
Well, I didn't expect this to be so long, but I got excited. haha. Well, may you have a wonderful week, enjoying this fall weather!

11. 07.09

2009-11-07T16:41:00.002-05:00

Hello! I hope you all are enjoying this lovely fall weather! These temperatures make me so happy. :D

I went to a concert last night it was so fun! It was KJ52. I'd never heard of him - I went because I got in free and all my friends went. haha
He was really good! Not someone I would listen to on a regular basis (He's a rapper, need I say more?), but he's got talent nevertheless. He was so fun.

Can I be honest with you? This week has been really hard. I felt pretty lost and upset. God didn't seem to care or want to intervene in my life. To be frank, I was a little upset with Him (ok, more than a little). For the first time, He seemed to have let me down, and He wasn't supposed to (I know, this sounds silly now that I say it, but you would have to know the whole story). It was so hard because if God Himself let me down, what was going to happen next? If I didn't have God, who did I have? No one. It was so hard.
But, I was cleaning my room the other day and I heard a song come on, talking about how God had always been faithful and always used tough times to bring gain. I thought about it and couldn't remember a time where He hasn't brought good out of something I didn't like and couldn't understand. So, I said, "God, I don't feel like it, but I'm going to trust You anyway. I'm afraid, but I'm going to follow You anyway."
I didn't immediately feel better. I didn't feel brave or anything right away. But throughout the day and after, I felt more trusting and less angry. And now, I'm not even slightly angry with Him. I don't understand a lot of things, but I'm not upset at Him.
My point is, I didn't feel brave and then decide to trust God. I made a decision to trust God and then, I wasn't so afraid.
Often, the strongest decisions are the ones that you didn't feel like making, not the ones that came easy.
Trust isn't a feeling, it's a decision.

Another thing I observed is that if we were gut-honest with ourselves - if we were pushed into a corner and forced to admit it, most of us would admit that we would much rather things not be in God's hands, but in our own. I had to admit that to myself this week. If I'd had the choice I would've much rather had myself be in control of my situation; because I obviously knew best.
I think deep down, that's how most of us have felt when in a tough place. "If only I were in control, I would handle this so much better..."
If only you and I could trust God how we were supposed to.

Well, I have to go, friend! I hope you have a great night and weekend! xoxo

A ballerina's Halloween & first date... (???) ;D

2009-11-01T16:57:00.005-05:00

Hey! I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to tell you about my Halloween.
Not much to say, but I did have a dashing young man escort me to a fall fest. Yep, he was my date. His name is Jonah.
He walked into my house and greeted me, "Well hello, princess!". Yes, it was very sweet.
We only had one issue. He left me for my sister.
He may be a handsome six-year-old, but his loyalty is a tad questionable...

P.s. can you tell what I dressed up as? ;)

10.30.09

2009-10-30T13:28:00.003-04:00

Hey there! I don't have a lot of time (hence any typos), but I just felt like writing!
So, last night, I was outside talking to God. I didn't really feel like it though, honestly. It's not like I was upset with Him or anything, I was just not so excited about talking to him. Ever felt like that? I did.
But I wanted to feel Him. So, I started talking about how awesome He is. The Bible does say He dwells in the praises of His people (I learned this a few weeks ago, but have to re-learn it about every other week because I apparently don't have the best memory about that; it's always a new experience). Anyway, I was talking about these great things He made and how stinking cool it was.
Before I say what I'll say, let me say this. It was very hot (stupid florida) and there was no wind. I just wanted to go inside to the cool. It's usually cooler at night, but not last night.
Suddenly, I cool wind started to blow right in my face and all around. It felt like a taste of God's presence was brushing up against me, as if to say He was there listening and He loved spending time with me. Really? Yep.
This was even more special to me, because for a long time, I haven't felt Him so near; and for a while, I seriously thought He left (then discovered He was teaching me things all the while). So, this was a special moment for me!
Maybe this sounds silly, but I'm convinced for some reason that God loves to sit on my porch with me, that He loves stargazing with me, and that He loves sitting on top of the car with me. Why do I think this? Not sure. I'm not the most zesty company to be with sometimes. But I'm quite convinced anyway.
So for a while last night, we just sat and did nothing, just enjoying the night and each other's company.
Isn't it strange that the God who made the universe, who's power could wipe us all out, enjoys sitting with us and enjoying the breeze? So cool.
Well, I have to go now. I'm going to the fall fest tonight and I have to get my costume ready! Pictures to follow!

10.27.09: Princess!

2009-10-27T20:27:00.002-04:00

So I don't mean this to be long, but I thought I'd share with you that I've decided to live up to my the meaning of my name (princess).
Those of you who know me well know that I do not like my name. To me, it's ordinary, plain and boring (to those of you with my same name, I do not mean to insult you, it probably suits you very nicely). But, I do like the meaning. This part, is not so ordinary. In fact, the meaning is extraordinary. Its elegant, special, and... sparkly? hahaha.
So! I''ve decided to live up to it. I will live up to the meaning of my name, if it's the last thing I do.
Princesses are beautiful and graceful and kind. So, this is what I will be.
These are my resolutions, not necessarily in order of importance:
1. Have acceptable posture.
2. Be graceful.
3. Don't be so loud all the time, be quiet and thoughtful. Let words have meaning.
4. Be bold and confident.
5. Be kind to everyone.
6. Help more people.
7. Be graceful inside.
8. Be a servant to everyone I meet.
9. Be confident enough in myself not to have to be perfect all the time.
10. Be confident enough in myself not to rely on makeup to feel beautiful.
11. Know my identity in Christ is what defines me as a princess, not what I do or what anyone else says.

These are the things true princesses do. And I'm determined to be one, my name and my identity in Jesus demands it. And I'll oblige happily. ;)
I suppose this won't happen in a day, but I'll work on achieving these things one day at a time. It won't be easy, and though I don't plan to change it, my quirkiness may hinder things. So I suppose I'll have to be a quirky princess. ;)
Sorry if you're a guy and are bored to sleep right now! This is a post mainly for my gal-friends! Help me out, girls! If you see me doing not-so-princess-y stuff, call me out! Ok?
Well, gotta run! Talk to ya soon! xoxo

10. 24. 09: The cross.

2009-10-24T21:25:00.004-04:00

Hola! Hey, I need to apologize in advance for any misspellings in this post; I'm typing it up real quick here.

Just a few ramblings before I get to the point of this post: You know what I said about this amazing weather thing? Yeah, it didn't last. It's hot again. Grrrrr! Oh well, I'll be in Kansas in a few weeks anyway.... woo hoo! Can't wait to see all my Kansas friends and family!

I went to a carnival today. It was pretty fun. I rode a ride that felt like it would fall apart at any moment and cause the deaths of me and my sister. It was exhilarating...? I finally got my long awaited funnel cake! I love those things! They always take me back to Worlds of Fun (only the Kansas people will get this). Good times. Oh man, guys. I got to eat this amazing Jamaican jerk chicken. I'm not kidding. It's probably the best chicken I've ever tasted. It was citrus-y and smokey. Mmmm! You would've loved it.

So I was watching this video a few months ago that I've been thinking about and been meaning to write about. The guy in the video was talking about how painful it must've been for God to have Jesus die.
I agree that too often, we don't really consider it. We don't consider in depth how hard it was for Him to do that for us.
But think about it with me for a moment. Really, do it. It really puts things in perspective.
Think of the person you love the most. I mean, the one who just makes you smile even when they aren't around; the one who makes your heart swell all the time.
Now, imagine taking that person and nailing them to a cross. No really, picture them hanging and dying on a cross; nails in their hands, thorns in their head, spear in their side. Think about it for a time, if you can. Savor the thought.
Yeah, now, you have a small glimpse of what God felt. And only a small one.
This really affected me. I watched this video with someone I cared about like that. They were right beside me, it made it more potent. Picturing this, pain ripped through my heart. I can't imagine. Thinking of it now, it's still hard. No wonder He turned His face away.
I have a very small glimpse of how God felt. Like He was being stabbed, like He would do anything to take it away from Jesus, His son and best friend.
He didn't. He could've. But He didn't. Why? Because He loved us more. He knew we were sick and needed saved. He let Jesus, part of Himself, suffer and suffocate and die alone. Why? Because He loved us that much. He was mocked and humiliated and abandoned by everyone. Why? Because He loved us that much. He was stabbed and spat on and tortured. Why? Because He loved us. That much.

10.21.09

2009-10-21T10:42:00.002-04:00

Hola! I hope your week is going well; here in Florida, we are having uh-maaaazing weather!!! Oh my goodness. It's so beautiful. We're finally out of the ninety degree weather. I don't know what the weather is today, but yesterday, it was very cool and breezy. At my house, we left all the windows open. So nice!

Let's see, what's new with me?

The other night, my family played UNO together. For those of you who know my family, you know this game was filled with passionate phrases like, "You are so going down," or ,"I'm going to clobber all of you," or if one of us loses, "I didn't want to make you feel bad; I'm just warming up.". I ended up losing because I had to take a phone call. :(

I spent the weekend with my friend, Sari! It was so much fun! I love her. Every time we're together, my gut ends up hurting from laughing so hard. I wish I had some pictures, but I don't. :( I know she has some though; I'll try to get them.

Last night, I stood outside looking at the stars. There were so many! At this point, I'm pretty sure God made them because He knew I'd love them so much. Impractical thought? Sure. But hey, sometimes it's best to be impractical.

Over all, this week was pretty good. Some are just really hard and I can't wait for them to be over; not this one. This one is better than most. It's a nice break.

I've been thinking lately about missions. I've always wanted to go to another country and help people, but this week I really want to. I don't want to just send money to an organization who tells someone who tells someone who tells someone to hold an orphan's hand (though that's better than nothing). I want to go over there and hold it myself. I want to help them personally. I want to talk with them and play with them and show them Jesus. I want to kiss their boo boos and wipe their tears and sing with them. I want to help the widow get an education to provide for her kids. I want to help the girl who was abused see that Jesus can heal her. I want to help them
But also, I want to be helped by them. I want them to help me see that there's a world outside my own. I want them to show me there are problems bigger than mine. I want them to make me see that there are other people in the world besides myself. I want them to show me Jesus.
I figure, once I get my nursing school over with, I'll go over to India or Africa and help out. I'm thinking I want to help with aftercare for the girls who are rescued from prostitution. What do you think?

Well, I have to go now. I have to get ready to spend the day at church with my mom. Have a great day! xoxo

10.13.09

2009-10-13T21:41:00.003-04:00

Hey! As usual, I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. I guess most of the time, I either haven't felt up to it, or felt like I didn't have anything worth saying. But! Tonight, I'll overcome both obstacles and write again since I realized there are some of you (whether family or old friends) where this is your only way of knowing how I am. I forgot more than my best friends read this blog (but unfortunately, most of my best friends don't care about my blog....ahem).

Let's see...what is up with me recently? Oh! I started going to this youth group in my town (I went to this one last year, but stopped going for a long while and they changed everything. It's a completely different setup, people, everything). I love it! I've met so many really cool people whom I already adore and I know we'll be great friends! I knew the first night I went that it was a good thing.
Have you ever had that? Where you just know that what you're doing is what you're supposed to be doing? Like it was ordained by God or something? Sounds weird, I know. You'd have to feel it.

So, after youth group on Sunday night, me and my new friends, Casey, Jared, Joy, and her husband, Danny all talked until we were pretty much the only ones around. Nearly everyone had left and we were just enjoying each others' company. I loved it. Can't wait till next week!
Ok, what else have I been up to? Ah yes! I've been going to ballet every Monday. I love it, though it's really hard because I've never done it. It's challenging, but it's so fun!

As for emotions, I've been learning a lot lately with stuff I've been dealing with. It's hard, but God is still pretty awesome, I must say. It's been great to get this time to hang out with Him and have Him take me by the hand and show me stuff I wouldn't know otherwise.

Well, I'd love to write more, now that I'm on. But my dad's wanting me to go to bed, so maybe soon, God willing! haha. xoxo

P.S. sorry for any typos, I wrote this up real quick

9.24.09

2009-09-24T21:26:00.002-04:00

Hey! Just to let you know, the beach was pretty good. It was great to spend time with family and stuff. We spent Sunday at the beach and that was cool. Wait, no. No it wasn't. It was hot! Hot and sunny. I got the worst sunburn! It was so bad. I was RED! It was so painful. Everything. From stretching in ballet to sleeping at night. I've made a major decision in life....I've decided to wear sunscreen. Thank you, that's all for that.
But really, it was fun playing games and going to the beach and getting attacked by the ocean and salt water up my nose and such...good times.
So, I was writing last night. I was writing a letter to God, actually. Don't ask why, I just felt like it. Anyway, I was feeling pretty down and was like, "It's not fair, why does so-and-so feel like such-and-such towards me? There's nothing wrong with me, is there? This stinks," and everything. I stopped and just thought. And it felt like God was holding me on His lap saying, "Baby, sometimes people make mistakes. They don't make you invalid or worth less. They are just that, mistakes."
Yes, I do wish some people valued me more and thought more of me or whatever, but their mistakes don't invalidate me or define who I am.
My worth isn't in peoples' opinions (and next time you hear me imply that they do, kick me and remind me otherwise). I'm not less valid by how people feel toward me. Yeah, I surely want people to value and like me, but the value people place in me doesn't equal the actual value I have in Jesus. And His value in me doesn't fluctuate from deed to deed or time to time.
Well, I just thought I'd share with you what He said! I felt like maybe He wanted me to tell you too. :)
Anyway, it's about time I head to bed. Love you! xoxo

9.22.09

2009-09-22T21:00:00.005-04:00

Hey! I don't really have time to write anything, but I will go ahead and post some pictures! :)

9.17.09

2009-09-17T13:41:00.004-04:00

hello hello!

Before I write what I'm writing, I want to thank you all for all your prayers! They are very much appreciated and mean a lot. It's so cool to know that I have people all over the country (I heard even some other parts of the world) praying for me. So thank you so much!

So, as a few of you know, God has been (and still is) bringing me through some tough things. But let me tell you, as hard as it is, He's just been so cool! I mean, He really is the best; He's just so awesome. He's just been helping me so much and showing me amazing things I didn't know and He's just been everything.

Last night I was at church, working during the service, and I stood in the back of the sanctuary during the last worship song. I was really having a rough time and I started singing through the tears. And even though I was so sad, I was just amazed because God was still sooo good and still holy. Circumstances, no matter how hard they are, don't change His holiness.

Eventually, after I was done working, I went into service to sit. After the pastor was done preaching, he did an altar call. I didn't need to go up, but it was so cool to observe people being freed and they were so happy, I couldn't help but join in the excitement!

The band played a happy song and everyone was clapping and singing and laughing; some were dancing because they weren't in bondage any longer. God was SO there!

I stood there singing and clapping and smiling and thought about that I still was in a hard place, but if felt like God was showing me that He really is enough and He's really all I need. Do I still want other things in life? Yes, undoubtedly. But will I make it - and be happy -as long as God's here? Yes. Undoubtedly.

I stood outside talking to God list night and I just couldn't stop raving about Him (to Him, haha) and just going on and on like, "Man, God, You were just so cool how You did this-and-that and how You used such-and-such to show me this and man! You're so cool!" It was so fun.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you, because quite frankly, it's exciting to me. :)

Well, I should get off now. My fam and I are going to get away for a few days at the beach; we need the break. We're supposed to be leaving like, now. haha

I'll write back soon, hopefully with pictures! xoxo

9.7.09

2009-09-05T20:32:00.007-04:00

Hey!
I had intended to write a post about the cross a few days ago, but I don't think I will. Maybe later.

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple nights ago. It was nice, because we both have recently suffered tremendous loss. We were both talking (or maybe just sitting and hurting together) and I said something like, "Have you noticed that everyone has a broken heart lately?! I mean, we're all walking around holding our hands to our bleeding hearts!"
And it's true. We are. Unless I'm mistaken, we're all broken in some way or another. Each of us has our issues; rejection, pride, bitterness, or fear. I know I, for one, have a few. If you're reading this, I'm supposing you have one or two also. This doesn't make you a bad person; inferior to others. It simply means you've lived on earth more than a day. So, aren't we glad God heals? I mean, He's so cool like that.
Whether whatever has happened to you or I is God's will or not, He heals anyway. Even if He didn't mean for something to happen, He still twists and molds the situation into something beautiful, something to make us a bright future.
Let me tell you, I've seen the most painful, ugly situation, one I hated even remembering, be turned into something inexplicably beautiful; something I could never have imagined.
I came across this verse the other night. It just helped me a lot. It's Revelation 21:4

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain..."

I also like this verse a lot. Psalm 68:19:

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens..."

another translation of this verse says:

"Praise the Lord; Praise God our Savior! For each day He carries us in His arms..."

I mean, He doesn't just let us deal with our own stuff. He deals with it too. He's just as hurt, or more hurt, than we are.

This past weekend has been difficult for me and my mom has been around a lot to help me and talk to me. On Friday, the day it started, I was hurt and crying and my mom was there and she couldn't stop crying. She knew it was hard and I don't know if she stopped crying that night.

We talked that night and she slept in my room. Well, actually, no. She didn't sleep. I slept and she sat awake all night long by my bed, making sure I slept.

On saturday, we went to a church service at a church in our town. I wanted to go; I had to do something. So we went. I didn't make it through worship before I was sobbing. And mom was right there with tissues, crying too.

My brother knew what was going on and he was awestruck. He said, "If our mother has that kind of empathy, how much more does the Father for his children?"

How much more? If God grieves for, or with us that much, How does He function? Bethany Dillon has a song and part of the chorus is, "...You see all my pain, and cry over it for hours till I'm new again..." The thought of God crying for hours upon hours over my own pain is a beautiful picture. It's very comforting.

He even sent angels to me to comfort me. He sent Cassie (my sister-in-law) to take me out on Saturday to talk and He sent sweet people to take my mom's place on sunday so we could spend the day together (she's the pre-k childcare director at my church and usually works all day).

He had my back before we even knew it! How's that for cool stuff?

Well, these are my thoughts today and I'm glad I could share them with you. I hope it wasn't too long or anything. :)

Love you!

P.S. I HIGHLY recommend you watch the video above. I love it! I know you will too!

8.14.09

2009-08-14T14:33:00.004-04:00

Hey! I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Things have been a little hectic here. But good!

For my birthday, as I mentioned earlier, my grandparents brought me to Kansas for my birthday (I grew up there, but now I live in Florida). So last Tuesday, I flew here to Kansas and spent time with family and friends. I've had a blast! Seeing everyone was fantastic. But a couple of days ago, I started feeling pretty homesick.

I suppose I learned what Dorothy (Wizard of Oz, ironically. If I had a dollar for every Wizard of Oz comment I've received....) learned. Home is where the heart is. I don't mean to be cheesy, but it's true. Let me explain.

I love Kansas. I mean, I really do. I adore the scenery; the trees and fields and stuff. All of my family is here, as well as old friends. But all this time, my heart's been in Florida with the people there (okay, specifically one person, haha). So, I suppose for now, my home is in Florida. The land of Oz is wonderful, but I can't stay there if my heart's somewhere else.

I realized this a couple of days ago, and have been earnest to get home ever since. Two nights ago, I cried and cried because I missed home (other things too, actually, but that's irrelevant). Last night, my mom and I (yes, over 1400 miles) looked online to see if I could come home sooner, like Saturday instead of my already booked flight on Tuesday. But after much searching, we realized it was much too expensive to do that. We simply didn't have the money. After I got off the phone with her, I was crying. "I just want to go home." But I was stuck. In my mind I was like, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home....".

By the time I went to bed (around 1:30am) I felt a little more trusting and said, "Ok, God, I'm not bribing you, but here's how it is. If you don't bring me home, I will either believe you have better plans, or thing you don't care that much about this. But I can tell you, I'll probably choose the latter." Though I was sad, I had a feeling God would take care of things the best way.

This morning, my mom woke me up with a phone call saying, "Do you want to leave on the 12:30 flight or the 7:15 flight today to come home?" My mind doesn't work in the morning, so I said, "Whaaaah?" and she explained that my grandparents knew I was homesick and they insisted to pay to change my flight. I was (am) so happy!

So now, I'm at my grandparents house waiting to leave for the airport in a few hours. Let me tell you, this trip was itself a miracle. I'm SO glad I came. So, I suppose, the way here was a miracle, and now the way home is also. Why does God bless me so often? Don't ask me. I don't know. It doesn't make sense.

So anyway! If you are wondering how my 16th birthday went (it was July 31), it was amazing! I loved it. Here are some pictures above!

Love you! xoxo

Random!

2009-07-30T21:28:00.003-04:00

So, I went to the dermatologist the other day to get treatment for acne (I wanted accutane, a pill you take every day for about 5 months to get rid of breakouts). The doctor checked out my skin and said we'd better try other stuff first for a few weeks(accutane's pretty intense stuff). I was a bit upset, but what could I say? No! I know better than you, who went though years of medical school! Give me my pills! Um, yeah. No. Can't do that really.
Well, she gave me some other stuff. Even then, I was a little upset. How dare they give me nice smelling soaps and creamy moisturizers?! The audacity! ;)
So, tomorrow's my birthday. It's pretty much going to be insanely awesome! Just thought I'd let you know. I'll write after and tell you how it went.
Well, this was a random post. haha. I don't know, I just felt like writing you. Sorry, it's not that interesting. :/
Oh hey! Pray for my bff, Kasen, she's having some heart problems and she's scared. Pray for peace!
Well, I have to go. Love you! xoxo

7.28.09

2009-07-28T18:09:00.003-04:00

I know I don't need to post everyday, but this, I must say, is ridiculous. When I began this blog, I was like, "Oh! I'm-so-going-to-post-everyday-for-as-long-as-I-live!" Pft. Whatevah!

Eventually, I suppose, life just gets to you. My life has been pretty crazy for a few months. Someday, if you stay tuned, I may just tell you. But! Not today. haha

So, this week, I was feeling something strange. Not pleasant. It wasn't my circumstances; I find it hard to think it could be better. And it's not that I wasn't happy; I've been very happy lately. But something was missing. Something important. And I figured it out. God was missing. Not completely, mind you. But He just wasn't as near as usual. I was quite frustrated for a while. I couldn't find out why He wasn't near even if to save my soul (no pun intended). I just felt very disconnected. So, on Sunday, I sat in service and thought about these things. And bam! It hit me. I hadn't read my Bible in a long time. Not a LONG time, but a while.

I learned (once again) that reading what God wrote to us is quite (very) important to staying in-love with God. If we don't read about Him, how will we know Him? And if we don't know Him, how can we love Him?

So, last night, I read my Bible for quite some time. And I felt much closer at the end. :)

Hey! Guess what. In one week, I'll be in Kaaaansas! I'm so excited to see everyone! Now, I must say, two weeks will be an awfully long time to be away from the posse here, but I'm sure I'll find many ways to stay busy in Kansas. There are so many to see!

Well, I must go. You know, I'm not even going to promise to write back tomorrow. haha. Love you! xoxo :)

7.23.09

2009-07-23T17:12:00.004-04:00

Hey there! I know, I know, I don't post as much as I should. I'm sorry. It just seems as if my life is going at an unusually accelerated pace these days. So much has happened. I can't even convey to you. haha

Sometimes it seems like March or April was yesterday, but then, at times it seems like it was years ago. I know, it doesn't make much sense. So much has happened to occupy those months, so they go quick. But then, the amount of things that have happened since then make it seem like it could've been last year. Ah, I'm confusing even myself now.

This week, my best friend, Kasen came to visit me (she lives in Kansas)! It was so fun to see her! We always have a blast together. She's wonderful; I know you'd love her.

So, I was talking to Kasen the other night as we sat outside. I was looking up at the many stars that were out and after a couple minutes, I said, "God is so cool. I mean, when I look at the stars, I think for a moment that he put them up there just for me because he knew I'd love them so much," I looked at her and said, "Then I think practically and know it probably isn't true, but it's a nice thought anyway." At that time, she said, "You just missed a shooting star." haha.
Well, I went on and said, "Well, He's just so cool. I'm such a jerk to Him sometimes and He still does these ridiculous things for me. I mean, I'm such a spoiled little kid and He still blesses me and gives me things I would have never never, ever expected for myself in a billion years."
It's true really. I don't know why He does these things for me, heaven knows I don't deserve them. I mean, if you were around me enough, you'd hear me sigh, shake my head, and say in distress with my hands open, "I just don't understand."
I still don't. But I must say, I'm glad He does what He does. ;)

Well, anyway, I just wanted to write and check in with yo. I try to do it as often as I can, which isn't a lot.
Talk to you soon hopefully! xoxo

7.18.09

2009-07-18T10:12:00.003-04:00

Hey! I hope you've had a good week and the summer weather isn't getting to you yet. *Can't wait till winter, ahem*
I've had a good week, though very busy.
So, I was thinking last night (no, actually, not night, it was at about 4:30 am, lol) about how cool God is.
I was reading through my journal of these past few months. It's crazy looking at then and looking at now. I'm barely the same person on the inside; these months have changed me so much. But anyway, I was comparing then to now. It's so crazy. God has taken the hardest decisions and situations in my life and turned them into something immensely beautiful. Looking back, if I hadn't done what He'd asked me to do, I wouldn't be blessed the way I am today.
I was so afraid then; when He called me and told me to change things. I felt so small and afraid. So many times, I almost didn't go through with what He told me to do. I was so close to just saying, "Forget it, Jesus, it's too hard." Oh my, I didn't know what He had in store for me. If I would have done that, given up on His plan, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have the same blessings.
Oh, it's so insane looking at how close I was to missing it, missing Him. I almost failed, I almost missed what He wanted to bless me with.
His plan is so intricate. Looking through my journal, I realized all the times God was working behind my back (yet right in front of my face) and weaving His signs in and out of my situations. Even small things, He was using them t show me His will.
Isaiah 42:16 says, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them."
I can say that this is surely true for me. I was in unfamiliar paths for sure.
Ok, sorry, I'm kind of rambling now. It just blows my mind how He works. He must spend so much time on me alone, so what about you or the rest of the world? He must be so busy!
Well, just dropped by to let you know I'm doing well. So, I'll write you soon!

Checking in

2009-07-10T15:09:00.003-04:00

Hello! I know, it's been a long time since I've written. I'm sorry. Life has been a whirlwind for me lately and before I knew it, weeks went by without talking to you. Anyway, I should let you know that things are going well on my end. God has been blessing me in remarkable ways and showing me new things every day. I'm one blessed little gal.

This has been the hardest few months I've had; it hasn't always been fun, but I'm so grateful for them and the opportunity to learn new things and the many blessings I've received over them. I was thinking a little bit ago about my past and the hard times and I realized, God was always there. He was always there with me even if I didn't think He was. He's always been faithful to me; faithful to be with me and provide me with whatever I need, whether it's love, wisdom, or a good friend.

I was just thinking the other night when I was chatting with Jesus, "Really? Who am I? Who am I that You think of me, let alone look on me and still love me? What did I do that you even think of blessing me?"

Really, God doesn't make much sense to me a lot of the time, to be honest. I usually don't understand why He does the things He does. I really don't deserve to be blessed, and I tell Him so, but He doesn't really seem to consider that. I think He just ignores me when I try to tell Him so. ;)

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that God really is with us all the time. He really is faithful. For real.

Well, I just wanted to talk to you and tell you what's up. I actually can't really tell you what's up, but I'm doing well. Thank you for your prayers; they mean a lot. Well, I have to go, but I hope to write back soon if life doesn't pass by too quickly. ;)

6.21.09

2009-06-21T17:05:00.004-04:00

Hey! I know a few of you are concerned from my last post, but though things are hard at times, I am okay. Even though it's hard, God's doing great things and my life is certainly and interesting story right now, I must say!

I can't tell you what's up, well not now for sure, sadly. It would make an interesting story/blog post. Maybe someday...maybe.

But anyway, I can't talk, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing fine. Thank you again for your concern, it's good to have good friends now.

Love you all! xoxo

Updates and Thanks.

2009-06-15T20:47:00.004-04:00

Hey, sorry, it's been a while, I know.

It's been a hard week for me. I'm not telling you the situation right now, but it's nothing tragic (like a family member's death or something). It's just been very difficult. I'm still trying to figure out things, so please pray for me -or for whom this situation concerns.

I was really upset this weekend. This weekend has held sobbing (a lot of it. Most of friday was spent doing it), little food (only to be so upset that I threw it back up), a nearly five pound weight loss, confusion and a lot of sleep. It's been an unreal weekend. But even through it, I'm able to say God is so good to me.

The day I was upset, a good friend of mine heard of my situation and called me to cheer me up. I talked to my friend and it helped a lot. It was good to have someone to talk to. At the beginning of the conversation, I was so upset, I was trying my best to keep my food down (which I didn't, in the end). But by the end, I felt a lot better.

The next day was spent adjusting to things and though I didn't eat much, I was able to keep it down. I slept a lot that day and prayed and read my Bible.

Yesterday was brighter. Things are still hard, but I know God takes care of people. This is a very good realization for me. I know that He wants what's best for others even more than I do, and He knows what's best also (that's a big plus, haha).

I don't tell you all of this to make you feel sorry for me. But I know that most of you who read this are good friends of mine, or at least very good acquaintances, and I think it's okay to tell you this because I know that you can know that I'm not alright a lot of the time. And I, of all people, like to make people think I'm always fine, always good, when I'm really not. But I know I can trust you to pray for me and love me even though I'm not always okay, or composed. Is that cool with you? I certainly hope I can tell you if I'm not okay.

But right now, I'm pretty okay. God is good. I have a lot of amazing people watching my back. God, my parents (yes mom, I know you're reading this and yes, you're terribly cool and I like having you around. ;), my friends (the best friends in the world! I'm getting all teary now. I seriously have the best friends in the world. No joke), people from my church; all these people care about me and are making sure I'm not experiencing excess pain. Like, all these random people I didn't even know cared that much stepped up recently to watch my back. Crazy. I'm so thankful for genuinly caring people. I've always appreciated them immensly, but even more so now. So, if you're genuinly caring, thank you. ;)

You know, I should take this time to thank you. If, you're reading this, I really appriciate you. No. Really, I do. All of you who leave sweet comments or see my on a regular basis. I love you all and your support leaves me teary and thankful often. You guys make my day and I can't believe God would see it fit to give me such nice, amazing people to share my thoughts with that actually want to hear what I have to say and care about what happens in my life. It's mind blowing really.

Anyway, I'm going to get off now. Sorry, no deep thoughts today. Just updates and thanks. I'll be praying for you and I hope you have a terrific weekend. :)

6.12.09

2009-06-12T18:49:00.003-04:00

Hey there. Um, I know we're friends, so I know I can share with you that this is a very hard time for me and I need prayer. Thank you, friend. xoxo

News!

2009-06-11T21:49:00.003-04:00

I'm coming to Kansas!!!!!

My wonderful grandpa called me today and said he'd like to bring me home for my birthday, knowing I want it a lot. I was ecstatic! God answered my prayer. I do love Him. Sometimes for very selfish reasons, unfortunately. lol

Yay! I will have so much fuuun! And to you in Kansas, we definitely need to get together, for sure. I'm coming August 4th through 18th. So exciting! Happy sweet sixteen to me! :)

Well, I gotta go! Be back soon!

A Love(ly) Story

2009-06-08T16:45:00.003-04:00

Well, the airline tickets haven't gone down, but I'm still hoping! Just thought I'd let you know.

I'm telling you what, while I'm inside, this Florida weather's pretty nice. It's been raining a lot. If I haven't told you, I...love. Rain. It's just...so wonderful. Words can't express my feelings for Rain. We're pretty much best friends.

I was thinking the other day ("Oh no, she's been thinking again...") about back in Genesis when Adam and Eve sinned and God had to punish them. And I was thinking, I mean, you have to admit it does sounds a little cruel to kick them out of paradise for a mistake they were deceived into making. What made it so unforgivable? And then I got to thinking more (inspired to do so from a book I'm reading). And it occurred to me; this wasn't so much a breaking of law as a betraying of a relationship.

I don't think you and I think of this as relational enough. Most of the time, God, for me, can seem rather unfeeling in these situations. But it's the opposite of what's true. He was and is very feeling towards us. The crime Adam and Eve committed was against a relationship. They betrayed Him.

Adam and Eve were very close to God. They walked around in the garden and talked together for hours. I mean, they saw each other all the time and were really close. And then, they trusted someone outside of God; the enemy of Him. They said He wasn't enough. And they sinned.

God wasn't just upset that they disobeyed Him, he was upset that they loved other things more; glory more; knowledge more; themselves more. I mean, imagine this:

You fall in love. I mean, this person is so great and you are just smitten. You love everything about them. You'd do anything for them. You love just to hear their voice. And as it happens, this person loves you back. So you two live happily ever after... until you see them with another person. Their back turned and seeking something more from someone else. Of course, your heart is breaking inside your chest. Life as you know it has been altered.

For real, think about it. Would you even want to go on living? Would there even be a reason?

I think this is how God felt. The people he loved had betrayed Him. They guessed they didn't need Him anymore. I'd bet He cried for hours. I'd bet His eyes were red and swollen and His world was dark.

When you think about it this way, it makes sense and you see that God dealt with them mercifully. I mean, I can imagine the pain on His face and the broken voice in which He said, "Where are you?" and, "Who told you that you were naked?".

And then, we see that God banishes them from paradise and then the consequences of the fall of humanity and the entrance of sin into the hearts of Man. Does God act like a emotionless God? We can still see it as much. He could have said, "Oh well, Adam, Eve. You guys made a silly mistake and we'll just clear the record and you can have a re-do."

But how could that be? God is perfect and naturally, holy cannot dwell with unholy or else the holiness is lessened. Pure cannot dwell with impure. If so, what happens? The pure becomes impure. Light cannot reside with darkness. Or else what? The light dims.

So what does God need to do if He is to maintain His holiness (which He can't be any other way)? He must banish darkness until He can make a way to purify the impure. There is no choice.

I'm certain banishing the ones He loved broke His heart. I bet tears filled His eyes once more as He watched them walk away. Things wouldn't be the same again.

This adultry created a rift in the realationship between God and man. It meant He couldn't have direct contact with them. They could offer sacrifices and follow Him, but it still wasn't the same. A really direct relationship wasn't really possible.

But He still loved them. He still loved us. He wanted a relationship. He wanted to crush the one who stole His beloved away.

So He promised and said to Satan, "There will be a day when I will crush your head and you'll bite his heel." (speaking of Jesus). So God started making plans to rescue us even though we hated Him.

And so the day came when He sent Someone (Jesus) to come here and tell us that He still loved us and that He was going to save us. And so He did.

The day Jesus died was the day He took all impurity upon Himself and the day He rose was the day that it was possible for unholy to become holy, impure to become purified and dark to become light. The Deceiver was crushed, the rift mended, and a way was made for us to have a direct relationship with the One who loves us.

I think a lot of times, you and I think that Jesus died so we could make it to heaven. But it was more than that. He died for now. I mean, He died so you and I could walk with God now. I like that part. If I had to wait till heaven to be with God, that'd really stink. I think I'd probably give up and just make heaven come sooner. But lucky for you and I, we don't have to wait! Whew. Isn't that nice?

Sorry, guys, that was a mouthful. But I hope it made you think more about God and how He loves us. I'll let you go now. Have a wonderful day! Love you!

Trip update

2009-06-05T18:03:00.002-04:00

Ok, I'm seriously disappointed. You all know I was coming to Kansas this summer. I had the tickets picked out and everything ($48 each way. Yes). Well, my parents delayed on buying them (I don't have a credit card, I was going to pay them back), and a few days ago, they doubled in price. My mom said not to worry, they'd go back down soon. Um, I went to check just a few minutes ago and they are now $139 each way. There is no way I can pay for them now. I probably won't be able to go. I'm so upset. It was going to be the highlight of the summer; the best, or at least second best summer ever. Not anymore, I guess.

Well, just keeping you all posted. I'll write soon!

5.28.09

2009-05-28T20:40:00.004-04:00

Hello there! It's been a little while. How was your Memorial weekend? Did you do anything fun?

I was at a condo on the beach, if you didn't hear. My aunt has some connections so she and my uncle and little cousin came to visit from Kansas and we all stayed at the condo all weekend. It was awesome! So beautiful. It was right on the beach. We had a perfect ocean view. I loved it. I'd just sit near the window or on he balcony and just watch the ocean. The weather was great too. Well, to me. It rained or was cloudy most of the time. I love the rain. A lot.

All in all, I had a great time this past weekend. I already posted the pictures earlier.

So, it's time for me to be honest again. Life's been really hard lately. I know that you are my friends, so I can ask you to pray for me. So, if you could, that would be great. I love you all. For real, a lot.

Anyway, I was reading a book the other night. And the guy was talking about these people he knew who were so cool; they actually believed with all their hearts that God liked them and wanted to be with them. And then it struck me. A question, that is. Do you believe God likes you? And my initial reaction was, no. I didn't believe He did. I mean, He's perfect. He must see even more faults than I do! It was quite a defeating thought, really. I almost cried. I realized, deep down, I didn't really believe He liked me. I mean, of course He loves me, He has to. He loves everyone. But I want Him to like me. As in, like, I want Him to like my personality. And I want Him to just think I'm cool. Not just love me, like me. Do you get what I'm saying? Friends like each other, generally. They think the other is just plain cool. Huh. I need better words. haha

To be continued....

On a somewhat different note, I should share something cool with you that's happened to me. Well, if you don't know already, I have problems with criticizing myself. I usually am focusing on my faults and trying to fix them myself. It's a bad, unhealthy habit I deal with all the time. I usually don't feel very good about myself. That said, I've been in this situation with a friend. It just seems like I'm always hurting them. I've given serious thought to leaving this friend because it seems like no matter how hard I try, I can't stop hurting them. I couldn't do things right. Of course, I didn't leave my friend. I care too much. Anyway, last night, I just went in to my room and lay in the dark. I was talking to God and I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't do anything right. And then I remembered this letter a friend had written to me and he said to ready it when I felt like I couldn't do anything right. So I looked for it and found it and read it. Let me tell you. I was sobbing half way though it. Basically at the part where he said that God knows my heart and my motives and judges me by that. Oh, it was so good to know! He knows I didn't mean to hurt anyone. He knows I avoid it like the plague. I just felt so much better. I was sobbing (tears of joy) and laughing. It was actually quite funny. I just didn't feel guilty anymore. It was so good. I'm still really happy. So from now on, I know that God knows what I mean, He knows where my heart is on a matter. I can't really convey adequately how that feels. haha. :)

Well, I'll let you go. I hope you have a wonderful day. Or night. Whenever you read this. :)

Pictures!

2009-05-26T13:46:00.003-04:00

Some pictures from this past weekend (we had a vacation weedkend with some family) :

Quick

2009-05-20T13:15:00.002-04:00

Ok, I have enough money to go to Kansas! Wooo hooo! I just thought you might like to know that. Haha. I'd prayed and been like, "Oh please, oh please, oh please!" I couldn't help but think, "Well, God, that was awfully fast...":)

So now, all I have to do is schedule a flight (I've already found ultra cheap tickets) and make plans for accommodations (I'm hoping to stay with my cousins again like last year)....oh yeah, and get permission from my parents. haha.

Well, I'm going to go clean now. Some family is coming to visit tonight and I must prepare! I'll update you all soon...when I have something to update! xoxo

Kansas

2009-05-18T21:23:00.003-04:00

It's always about 5 or six months after a visit to Kansas that I start really missing it so much.

I was sitting in the car the other night on the way to a party and I was listening to some Karla Adolphe. Listening to her always reminds me of Kansas because I listened to her all last summer when I went to Kansas. (This was an UH-MAZING trip. As a birthday gift, my family granted my biggest wish and sent me to Kansas for a couple weeks. I got to stay with my cousins and it was the best present ever!) So, I had my mind on Kansas.

I remember riding in the car in the winter when I went there for Christmas. I sang quietly along to the radio and looked out the window to the long-gone wheat fields under the cold, grey, winter sky. I looked at them, thinking how they would look in the summer; a golden sea swaying in the warm breeze.

So, as I sat in the car the other night remembering that, I had a deep longing to go see Kansas again. Oh, I miss it so much! It was such a magical trip last summer.

Yeah, I was talking to my parents yesterday and I said, "You know what I want for my 16th birthday?" (not really) "I want what I got last year. I trip to Kansas. I mean, it was the best birthday ever! I got an experience. It lasts a lifetime! So, that's what I want."

They said, "Yes, let's get ourselves further into debt."

Haha, that's where they stand then.

So, I've decided I'm going to save up my money and fly to Kansas this summer. It will be hard, but I'm sure I can do it! Babysitting and working at church, I can get the money.

I want to go before school starts up again for my friends.

What do you guys think? Should I do it? Any suggestions on how to get money or suggestions in general?

See

2009-05-08T17:58:00.004-04:00

Hello there!

Today, I went to the doctor. Yeah, it was weird. I haven't been for a checkup in about five years. What's funny, is I'm actually healthier than I should be. Haha. I had to get shots. Now, as a child, I hated shots with a passion. I would cry and cry. But these days, I am proud to say, those shots were nothing against my utter composure and bravery! ;) Although, my arm does hurt quite a bit now. haha. My little sister had to get shots too. She cried and I felt really bad for her. My mom played the whole, "This won't hurt a bit....". Yeah, I know. She's so cruel. ;) She said, "Look, Sarah didn't even flinch, you can do it." Yeah, I'm courageous. ;)

And! Afterward, we got ice cream. Oh yeah.

So, I've been thinking lately (this is where people around me always go, "Uh oh....Sarah's thinking...") about why the Bible places so much emphasis on eyes. Why? Why eyes?

Genesis 3:5 "For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened..."

Job 42:5 "My ears have heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you."

Psalm 101:3 "I will set before my eyes no vile thing..."

Proverbs 4:25 "Let your eyes look straight ahead..."

Revelation 4:8 "Each of the four living creatures...was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings..."

Why eyes?Why does God warn us all the time about our eyes? Why is it so important? Because, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be filled with light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be filled with darkness."

The eye is the gateway to our minds, to our hearts, to our souls. Whatever comes through our eyes goes to our minds, to our hearts and so on.

Why is breaking an addiction to pornography so stinking hard? Because once it enters the eyes, the image engraves its self on the hearts and souls of those who view it. The eye is the lamp of the body.

This is why we have to be so careful about what we look at, friends. Because once you look at something, no matter how short of a time, it's already in your mind. You can't dump it out again.

In today's society, it's hard to be careful. Sensual images are everywhere; on billboards, on our soap commercials. I feel sorry for the guys who try to keep their minds pure. It's hard for me already. It must be so hard for them!

But if we want our hearts to be filled with light, we must be careful at what our eyes see. If we aren't, we'll be filled with darkness.

On another note, my mom was relating an observation to me the other day about my terms of endearment for you all. She thinks I sound rather cheesy with my whole "dear friends" and "loved ones" and all. Sorry if it seems that way! Haha. It's not a lighthearted term, though! You all are dear to me. I seriously love you all. I can't think of anyone who reads this blog that I don't like, unless some jerk I don't know is sneaking on here. ;) But for real, when I say those things, I mean them. Even If I do sound cheesy. haha.

Well, I have to go eat dinner. I hope to write soon!

Stuff.

2009-05-07T17:33:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone! Just a quick post.

Just letting you know that things are going well here and God has been close to me. I'm learning to trust Him more every day.

Trusting has always been hard for me. I haven't trusted people and found it hard to trust God. People have just let me down too often, quite frankly. But I've been learning this past year that though people aren't perfect, God is. And He always will be. He's worth trusting and He won't let me down. It's something I've had to keep in mind lately. He wants (and knows) not only what's best for me, but for the ones I love too.

Well, I have to go. But Lori! That post about Brenden was...I don't even know. Disturbing! Haha. Anyways, I'll try to write tomorrow!

Silent

2009-04-30T18:36:00.005-04:00

Hey guys! It's hot here. Haha, yes, Summer in Florida has begun. The hot and the humid is here. It's usually about this time that I want to move to Canada or other such places. :)

Lately, I've been working on being honest with you, my friends. Because I believe if we spoke with hearts unlocked, the essence of community would grow and we will truly be the body of Christ.

So, honesty, life's hard right now. Really. I can't tell you everything (it's not all mine to tell), but I need Jesus now.

As of late, I've had to be stronger than I'd ever thought possible, more dependant on God than I'd ever wanted, and more desperate for His presence than ever before.

Last night, I sat outside on my sidewalk. I do it nearly every night. That's when I chat with Jesus. So anyways, I was sitting there and I was explaining the situation to Him. I was desperate for some answers. I needed (ahem...need) wisdom. Badly. I sat there and I realized, I didn't feel His presence at all. Usually, I have a sense that He's at least listening, that He's there. But there was silence. Just silence. But not for long.

I started to cry. I missed Him. Soon I was sobbing. I don't think I've ever cried so hard. Not in years (if you know me well, you know I'm not a cry-ish person). I missed Him and I just wanted to go home, my real home (not necissarilly die, just go there). I was utterly lonely. When I'm usually lonely, I at least know God is there. But not then. I was completely alone. To me, in that moment, God was up in heaven, a million miles away; now here on earth, with me. I needed Him and He wasn't there.

So I sat there outside sobbing hard for at least an hour (ok, I know we're all serious right now, but I must say this. While I was weeping, I looked up and saw that my neighbor was taking out her trash! She's just a little old lady and she probably was like, "Oh, teenagers...". I felt really stupid. Haha). I was so desperate for God. But He was silent.

I also, last night, had a dream. I dreamed that there was a snake. It kept biting me, over and over, again and again. I was crying out for God to help me and He didn't answer. This went on and I woke up.

Last night, I truly learned what Paul was talking about how faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we cannot see. I've heard that verse dozens of times. But not I'm certain of this: Faith is what happens when you can't see, hear, or feel God but you believe in Him and want Him anyway.

Even in His silence last night, something in me, something deep down, believed that God was truly there. If I was sure with every fiber in me that He wasn't, I wouldn't have talked to Him. It would have been pointless. Last night, I couldn't see God. I couldn't hear God. I couldn't feel God. But something in my spirit wanted Him still, needed Him still.

My friends, we aren't always going to feel God at our side. We won't always hear Him speak. But He's there.

I still don't feel Him very much. I still can't hear Him very much. But through faith, I'm sure of my hopes, ans certain of the invisible.

Here's lyrics to a song which pertains to this post:

verse:

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

chorus:

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

verse:

Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

(chorus)

bridge:

No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

(chorus)

On a different note, or somewhat different, I was talking to God a few nights ago (I'd just gotten back from the conference I told you all about and was convicted to read my Bible) and I said, "God, I just...I need to read the Bible. But right now, I really don't want to. God, I just want to want to read the Bible. I want to want to read it like a new story book; anxious to get my work done to read it."

And so, the next day, I was scrubbing my bathtub and I just thought, man, I want to get this done so I can read my Bible. Um hello! Where did that come from? It was so weird. So I sat in my room for probably an hour just reading.

Yeah, it's been weird, lately, I've actually enjoyed reading the Bible. I still need to get over Leviticus, though (Yes, I remember trying to read it a while back and I said, "God, I'm sorry. This is just so boring." haha)... :)

Well, my dear friends, I must go. I hope I was able to give you at least a little encouragement, or wisdom or something. I do ask you to pray for me. Times are still very hard and if God doesn't answer, I don't know what I will do, haha. I hope you all are having a good day (or night or whatever) and may God be near you all, even if you can't feel Him.

Forrunner

2009-04-26T21:11:00.005-04:00

I'm home! I am back from my conference and it was just...amazing. I mean, there are no words to do it justice. Incredible. Amazing. But those words are so generic. It was crazy, haha.

By the end of the weekend, my voice was going from singing, my stomach hurt from laughing and my spirit alive from the teachings.

The teachings were mainly about preparing for the end times; preparing for the Day of the Lord. Well, Sarah, that sounds gloomy and scary. Yes, that's what I thought at first. But it isn't all gloom and doom. But even if it was, it's reality. Jesus is coming back but He isn't coming as a baby in a manger. He's coming to make war on everything that's wicked, on the earth. He's coming to destroy evil authorities and move the earth with power.

Dear friends, we've been walking around with our fingers in our ears for too long. We've been turning our eyes from the evens happening and the coming evens that must be prepared for. Jesus is coming to shake us and we must get ready.

Listen! Understand! We must prepare ourselves because if we don't start now, we will not stay strong when trials come. If we don't prepare, we will fall. We must read our Bible more. We must pray so much more than we do. If we don't we won't be ready.

Dear friends! My loved ones! Hear me now, hear this. Jesus, Yahweh, has held His silence for a long time but He's getting ready to shout, to cry out and bring down everything that's built on sand. Kingdoms will come crashing and wicked rulers will fall. He's coming as a Man of war to bring back His Bride. But so many of us won't be ready.

How much time we waste on worthless things! We read meaningless books, listen to pointless music that does nothing to bring us closer to Jesus, but drowns out the voice of the One who comes to deliver us. With one hand we bring Him close and with the other, we push Him away. We say, "Jesus, be near!" and then we go about our business, apathy in our hearts and compromise in our spirits. We call for God and leave his answer, the Bible, on the shelf. We want to grow closer to Jesus but don't take the time to talk with Him because we think we don't have time. Why, why do we think He doesn't answer us?

Friends, God called us to be His forerunners, announcing His coming, like John the Baptist. He wants us to sound the alarm, waking those around us from their sleepy spirit. But how can we when we care more about the latest hit than about fasting and praying for our nation and preparing ourselves to do God's will? There is something so so wrong wrong when we can't even be still for a moment to hear from the One Who constantly is yelling in our ears.

Oh my friends, where is our passion for truth? Where are the tears for the unjust? Why are our hearts hardened to the things around us? Why do we not weep for the sins of our country, crying out for God to have mercy on us? Why are we not using our actions to shout our words, saying, "Prepare the way! Repent. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is alive, He's coming!"?

We are all at fault. Especially me. I have lived with as much of God as I wanted. I've pushed Him away over and over again. I've pushed Him with every sin of mine. I've hardened my heart again and again. Haha, I'm certain I've pushed Him to the point of utter frustration. Yes, I've been very strong willed.

It's going to be hard for me to read my Bible more and pray more. But I hope you all will pray for me, as I will for you. It's not too late to start, friends. If we seek God, truly, like treasure hunters, we'll find Him. If we want to know His will, and search for it like diamonds, He'll tell us. He's not secretive. Not at all. We just don't see.

Well, I must go. Before I do, I must recommend the book of Joel to you. If you haven't read it read it. If you have, read it again. You won't be disappointed if you're open to hearing what God has to say. I'll write soon!

Scrub!

2009-04-23T17:28:00.004-04:00

Hola!

This will only interest the girls (hopefully):

So, I have found a new passion; making sugar scrubs. I just made one the other day. Oh. My goodness. Iit was so much fun for me, I don't even know why. But it was. Woo hoo. Would you like to know how to make it?

1. Get a jar or some kind of sealable container. I used a mason jar.

2. Fill it mostly with sugar. Any kind will do; I used just pain old white sugar. But I suppose a more unrefined, grainy sugar would be great too because it would be rougher and therefore, be more...scrubby. haha

3. Pour over some olive oil. I won't tell you how much because it's more of an opinion thing; how you want the texture to be. Just pour it in and mix it until you have what you like.

4. This is where it gets fun. This is where you add the extra ingredients that make it more personalized. I added these things: tea (from a tea bag, not already made, haha), fresh lavender from our herb garden (dried would be better, I think, because it'd be stronger), peppermint extract (which totally made it! I highly recommend it), and honey (which is great for your skin, I hear). Other ingredients which would be nice are rosemary, basil, sage and other herbs, different kinds of teas, citrus rind, scented oils, and other such things. The sky's the limit, friends! With these ingredients, you can add as much or as little as you like, depending on your taste.

I suppose I should tell you the downsides of this scrub. First, it is oil based, which means you shouldn't use it as a cleanser, just an exfoliant if you use it on your face. Secondly, if you use it on your face, you have to make sure you rinse very well or else you might have bits of herbs or tea in your eyebrows or the side of your face or in your nose which would look ridiculous, so don't forget to rinse well. ;) Oh, and remember to rinse the sink well when you're done because if you don't, it will have bits of black in it from the herbs and tea.

On the up side, my skin was, as I said, so so so soft! I'm not kidding. It made my skin softer, smoother and brighter looking. And I smelled good, which is always a plus. :) And, like I said, it makes great (and ahem...cheap) birthday or Christmas presents.

I know, I sound like I'm on a commercial. Sorry, I'm just excited and I think you'll just love it. So try it! Today, now, sometime.

Anyways, I'm going to a youth conference this weekend and I'm so excited! I'll tell you about it after.

Well, I must go. I will write soon, dear friends!

Lead

2009-04-22T21:28:00.002-04:00

Hey friends! So sorry it's been a while. It's been a rough time, to be honest. I don't think I would've been my chipper, quirky self anyway. But, here I am! I'm back.

I was chatting with God the other night about what's been going on and some hard things I'd been going through. I just sat there on the sidewalk, arms around my knees pretty much blabbering my face off about my problems.

Sometimes, it seems like God is distant. Like He's up in the heavens when He's down here with us, with me. That's how it felt in that moment. But all of the sudden, I looked over to the side and I could picture him there; eyes full of understanding concern. I felt His presence, for just a moment. It was quite lovely. I knew I wasn't alone.

So I kept talking. I saw a star in the sky which I imagined to be the northern star. It probably wasn't, haha, but I imagined it to be. And I thought, God, please be my northern star. Lead me home. Lead me where you want me.

Finding God's will is so hard! But I just have to trust He'll show me. If I don't, where am I then? Lost. For me, there can't be any other choice but to trust.

Well, I have more to say, but I have to go. I just thought I'd drop by and say hey and that things are going well. I'll write asap! :)

Rescue

2009-04-13T20:10:00.004-04:00

What is going on here?! Two posts in one week? What's the deal? Am I going insane?! Well, I actually have something to say. *gasp* Yes, yes. Please hold your applause. Merchandise will be in the back. ;)

I was just remembering the other day about my life about two summers ago. This was a very hard time in my life. Very dark. It's a long story, but during this times, I felt quite unloved and unneeded and so...not good. I was wishing every day that it'd be over soon. I was having some thoughts of suicide. The pain in my heart was so much, it was sometimes physical. I just wanted to go home; to my real home. Heaven.

I remember sitting at my desk in my room one day and just thinking. I knew nobody needed me. If I was gone, nobody would care, nobody would miss me. I wondered, if I were to finish it, how would I do it? Pills? Where? Crap, I was too afraid of the pain. As I thought these despondent thoughts, a song came on (I was listening to my ipod) and I tuned in. Why, I'll never know. I was so into my own thoughts, I think it was God who pulled me out of them for one moment. The song was, "Rescue is Coming" by David Crowder. Here are the lyrics:

There’s a darkness in my skin
My cover’s wearing thin, I believe
I’d love to start again, go back to innocent
And never leave

Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We could be found
There’s nothing wrong with me
It’s just that I believe things could get better
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I think it’s just enough to believe

Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming

And there’s nothing wrong with you
And nothing left to do
But believe something bigger
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I know it’s just enough to believe

Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We will be found
Rescue is coming now

I know for a fact it was God who put that song on. Small act, yes. But the hope from it gave me more of a will to live. Hope for tomorrow, hope for love, hope for a bright future. Don't give up now! Rescue is coming...

In that moment, I knew things wouldn't be easy. But God and I, we will overcome.

Looking back, I know that those moments were an attack of dark forces, undoubtedly. The devil is real. When he moves, he moves powerfully and subtly; carefully and strategically. But those moments also showed that God is real also. He moves in love and grace; with hope and power.

Friends, times are hard. There is no doubt. The world is a dark and scary place to be a lot of the time. But the clouds are breaking and and rescue is coming.

Sometimes, it seems like it would be much easier to give up and be through with it. I know. But I will tell you something. I do not doubt living. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am to be here. I am so happy. If I would've ended it, I would've totally messed up God's plan. I have worked through Him and helped people I couldn't have helped from my grave. I just can't put into words how I love Jesus and how He kept me from making the worst mistake of my life...or death.

If you are experiencing thoughts like mine were, don't give up yet. Don't do it. The clouds truly are breaking. Rescue is really coming ...

Such a Time as This.

2009-04-11T11:00:00.003-04:00

So yesterday, Chris and Hannah attacked me. They came up with a genius plan. Hannah distracted me and Chris grabbed my feet and swept them out from under me. The wrestled me and I ended up with a huge wedgie at the end. Lovely. Welcome to my life, everyone. lol

Anyways, the other night, I was talking to my friend. She's having such a rough time. Abuse physically and emotionally. I stood outside afterwards, and was talking with God about it. I was like, "Why? Why do you let this happen?" For My glory. "But why her? What did she ever do? Who could hurt her like that? It's not fair," I said and crossed my arms like a pouting 5-year-old. I sighed, "Why not me? Or. Why don't You just evenly distribute the pain? Why her and not me? I've had a great life. I've always known you. In fact, why are you wanting me to help? You've got the wrong person. Why did you choose someone with a practically perfect life?" For such a time as this. This phrase kept echoing in my mind. Such a time as this.

I still don't know why God picks me to do these things. It doesn't make much sense. Haha, God Himself doesn't make much sense usually. But someday, I'll know. Someday, things will make sense. And someday, my friend will get better.

What is up

2009-04-09T20:29:00.002-04:00

Hello there! You know, I'm just so sorry. I feel like I'm letting you all down by posting so rarely. Oh well! ;)

So what have I been up to? School! A lot of of it! I have to finish this simester (which I just started a couple of months ago, right after the last one) before this fall because I'm enrolling at a college here. Of course, I have to pass the entrence exam first. I'm nervous. I hope I'm smart enough!

Well, I don't have much to say for now, but I do ask you to pray for wisdom for me. I need it and I suppose one can never have enough! Anyways, I have to go, but before I do, I'll leave you with a few pictures of me and my wonderous friend, Kasen when she was here on spring break. Love you all!

Change

2009-03-24T09:31:00.003-04:00

Hey, everyone! Sorry. I know it's been, like, forever since I've been on. I've been super busy.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of time, but I was writing in my journal last night and thought I'd share with you what I wrote and what's been on my mind. So here's what I wrote:

I've been thinking. Ever since I was little, I've wanted to make a difference; change the world maybe. But, I've always been a realistic thinker. So I've always just assumed it was pretty much impossible.

But I had a revelation the other night. Suddenly, I thought, why not?! Why can't I? After all, God is with me. So what's stopping us? After God, all we need is courage, bravery, spunk, practicality, and faith. God has already done unimaginable things in my life. I have a feeling it's just the beginning. If that's true, what will He do next? God is going to do something huge; of that, I have no doubt.

I think God has big plans for me. But then, of course He does. It truly does make sense. If He didn't have an important purpose for me, He wouldn't have made me. Why would He go through the trouble for nothing? It's just not practical.

The reason that only few make a difference is because only few decide to. Many, too many, decide it's impossible to change the world, so they don't even try. They decide to leave it to someone else. Well, if everyone did that, there would be no one left to make a difference.

Well, not me. I won't say it. It is possible, and I won't look back later and realize I've waster too many days waiting for the world to change. Jesus won't come back and find me sitting on my behind.

With God, all things are possible. Even the things I don't think of. So me and God, we will make a difference. We will change the world. It won't be easy. It will take everything in us, but we will...

Wild Olive

2009-03-11T15:52:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while...again. But what can I say? I'm a bust gal. ;)

Well, I don't have time to post anything long, but I just wanted to tell you all to check out this website! http://www.wildolivetees.com/ It's pretty much awesome.

Sorry to be so short! Maybe we can chat another time. Love you all!

A day in the Life...

2009-03-01T16:50:00.003-05:00

So what is a day in the Slankard household like? Well... if you were given a day-long tour, you may find....

Me sitting lazily doing my school,

Hannah running around in boots yelling "The Campfire Song Song",

Chris studying the dictionary,

Dad counting out chocolate chips to see how many are in a cup,

Mom making phone calls,

Me making cross-eyes at Hannah while she's supposed to be doing school,

Chris chasing Hannah around the neighborhood in Indian attire (no kidding. Loincloth, war paint, the whole nine yards),

Me, Chris and Micah jumping off the roof onto the trampoline,

Mom scolding us to stop playing loudly because the windows are open. To which, I reply that the neighbors already think we're crazy. She has no comment. She knows it's gospel truth ;) ,

Me attempting to write my book in peace (as if),

Dad whistling while doing his office work,

Chris belting out a strange rendition of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot",

Me skipping about the house,

Hannah yodeling as loud as she possibly can,

Me reading a book on totally useless information,

Chris coming out of his room rapping,

Hannah breaking into song and dance randomly (I'm serious. Her life is a musical. For real.),

Me bursting into laughter for no apparent reason,

Chris lifting Hannah above his head in triumph and commencing to throw her onto the bed,

Hannah trying to dress Petey (our little dog) up as a princess,

Me mourning because my drawing doesn't look like the real thing,

Everyone laughing at Hannah

Everyone laughing at Hannah because she farts every time she sneezes, laughs or coughs.

and last but not least,

Me Chris and Hannah making ridiculous threats to each other (such as, and not limited to the following: "I'm going to throw you in the sewer" or "I'm going to throw you up into the sky" or "I'm going to make you take a bath in the street")

Yes, in the Slankard household, you'll hear phrases like, "Chris, get your legs off my head!" or "Hannah, you shake that booty and it'll get whipped." or "Mmm...how does that taste? My foot taste good to ya?"

Yes, we're quite strange. Good or bad, we haven't decided yet. But all I know is this: Normal people...are boring. And I don't like them.

At my house anyway, it's never a dull day, I suppose. ;D

A Special Place

2009-02-26T18:24:00.003-05:00

Hey! Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while; things have been a little hectic. But a good hectic, so don't worry. ;)

I was just thinking a minute ago about Heaven. About how God said He'd prepare a special place for me. The word "special" stuck out because I imagine everyone together flyin' around in white robes. But then I saw "special". Made just for me. I don't really want to fly around in a white bathrobe, so I was just imagining what my own special place would be like.

I imagined my place being outside; in the middle of misty mountains and lush forests. A place filled with fountains and gardens that had flowers of every color. A place where one day it'd be autumn and the next it'd be spring; whatever I felt like that day. One day it may be sunny and clear and the next day, cool and cloudy. I'd have a place where I could paint and sing and read all day long. And I could eat Chipotle whenever (ok, I'm kidding there;).

Me and Jesus could chat over a cup of joe and my great-great-really great-grandma and I could get to know each other. Paul and I could talk about how life's treating us and me and Ruth could share stories. Me and God could walk hand-in-hand by the creek in the woods and make up for lost time. I could know why this and that happened or how such and such came to be or why so and so did these things to me. He could tell me about when I tested His patience but won Him over again with a bat of my eyelashes (lol) or when He just wanted to erase my problems but had to let me endure. He could tell me about the time He defeated the giant or why he made a giraffe with such a long neck. We could chat late into the night and then stargaze at the stars below us.

Hey, this is pretty cool stuff to imagine! I'd better stop before I keep you here all night! Haha.

So me and my family went to Sea World on Monday. It was so great. I couldn't have imagined More perfect weather! It was cool and breezy with NO humidity (praise God from whom all blessings flow)! Shamu was beautiful and everything was so inspiring. I left quite refreshed. I'll post pictures soon.

Well, I have to go. I'll post soon hopefully! Love you all!

A Barbecue Chip.

2009-02-19T21:34:00.003-05:00

Warning: The first part of this post will seem so random!
Well today, I was hungry, so I stood in the pantry doorway. I spotted some barbecue chips. I bit into one and entered another world. The world of my past; when I was a little girl in Kansas. I had memories of small church picnics on summer afternoons. I experienced the warm summer breeze and the smell of bug spray. I could see the field behind the church with the daisies in bloom. I saw the fluffy clouds in the crystal blue sky. I could smell barbecued foods and see the plastic tablecloths flutter in the wind.
How simple life used to be then. Boys had cooties, I didn't know what the word economics meant, I didn't have to worry about entrance exams for college, and I didn't have anyone to worry about or take care of besides myself.
It's funny. Back then, I though to myself about how I would be when I got older; when I got the age I am now. I thought for sure that when I was fifteen, I'd have a job, a car, a boyfriend (or at least a string of guys who liked me), and a ridiculous amount of freedom and money. Now that I am fifteen, I don't have any of it. I'm not complaining at all; I love my life. But I don't have a job, I don't have a car (I can't even drive :( ), I do not have a boyfriend (and do see I'm to young to have one, and don't even really want one), I don't have a string of guys who like me, I don't have the privileges I thought I'd have (such as driving to parties and such), and I may as well be broke.
But I'm totally fine with all this. I don't need any of it, I see now. I was just observing how different my life is from the big plans I had. I never would've dreamed I'd be where I am now! I love it.
So it just goes to show, that God's plans are much better than mine. I saw that all from a single barbecue chip. ;)

One Way Ticket to Heaven

2009-02-15T19:46:00.004-05:00

bonjour! I hope you all had a lovely Valentine's Day! I did. I ate Chipotle! In case you haven't figured out yet, I adore Chipotle, to the depths of my heart. I teary sometimes when I eat it (partly from emotion, mostly from the fact it's so spicy my lips burn ;). Eating at Chipotle is a beautiful experience to me. ;D
So a quite few months ago, a very disturbing question about myself came to my mind. I was extremely puzzled for a very long time. One day, my thoughts said, "If you were guaranteed to go to heaven when you die, would you still follow Jesus now?". Um, wow. For a while, I was sickened with fear that I wouldn't. That if I knew I would go to heaven, that I would deny my Jesus and and live my way, the easier way. Oh goodness, I was terrified of of myself. I really was. I hadn't realized how unfaithful I could be. I was seriously disgusted with myself. How could I judge people with little faith when I had little myself?
But over this past while, I've come to realize that I would follow Jesus even if I would go to heaven without Him. Jesus has always been so good to me. Oh I just can't even describe how he's provided. He's given me so much; A family who loves me, a safe and warm home, a level head and I can imagine having better friends. He loves me when I don't love back, He gives me peace when I'm troubled, and fixes me up when I'm hurt.
The question for me now is: How can I not love Him? He's just the best! Aw, my heart sings to think of Him. Aw.
Hey! What do you think of my newest and latest blog theme? Lori gave me a website that has a bunch of bloggy things. Thank you, Lori! I'll probably be changing my blog, like every week! Woot!
Well, that's all I have to say for today, my friends. I shall write soon!

Celebrating My Singularity...

2009-02-14T10:42:00.003-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, my dear friends! May it be filled with looooove. ;)
So I was thinking. Another year gone by, I'm still single (lol, as it's always been). Most would be very perplexed by this scenario. Very, very disappointed. But, I thought to myself, why should I be? I should enjoy my singularity and embrace it. I mean, I have no boyfriend to worry about. I don't have to worry about if he's cheatin', I don't have to worry about getting him any presents, I don't have any commitments to him, because he's nonexistent! I mean, really. Why shouldn't I be happy? Being single is fun, people, it really is.
So then I got to thinking even further. About how God is my lover. I mean, He's been romancing me since...ever. He's been wooing me with His love for ages. Sheesh, He died so He could be with me! He gives me beautiful sunsets and bright stars (which He knows I adore). He gives me a loving family and the best friends ever. He keeps me safe and if I'm ever hurt, He's always right there to help me. He's always showing me His love.
Why He loves me, I have to clue. Heaven knows I'm not a faithful lover. I busy myself with other things and sometimes, I don't even give Him the time of day! But still, He says, "I love you" with every breath he takes. Amazing.
Anyways, so these are my Valentine's Day thoughts. If you're single and reading this, enjoy today and don't feel like no one loves you. Because Somebody does, very much indeed. Happy Valentine's Day!

P.S. I almost forgot. I came across this amazing song. And there's a video on Youtube about it. So here's the link. Check it out, you won't regret it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tzuAxhOSfE

Almost forgot...

2009-02-12T14:46:00.001-05:00

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you big news! I now have THREE blog followers. Bam. Thanks Emily!

Take Up Your Mat

2009-02-12T14:21:00.003-05:00

I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and spent a gift card that I got a while back. I got some cool stuff and now feel rather spoilt! I mean, how often do I have money to spend on myself? Um, woa. Yeah, exciting.
I got a yellow scarf, two clearanced headbands (one black and one white), birthday presents, AND two things of eyeshadow. Teal and forest green. Sounds crazy? Well yeah, I live on the edge. ;) Anyways, I'll have to take some pictures and post them.
Today, I'm going out to dinner with my family. Tomorrow is my grandma's birthday! Happy Birthday, Grandma! Yay.
So today, I was thinking about Jesus. Yeah, as if I don't do that often. ;D Anyways, I was pondering about when he healed the crippled guy. I was thinking it's interesting how he just says, "Take up your mat and walk." No prayin' in tongues or anything. Just six words. I like it. I like how he doesn't make this big ceremony of it. He just says, "Take up your mat. And walk.".
This is one of the things I like about Jesus. He just does stuff. He doesn't go making a huge deal out of everything, He just does it. Quite frankly, if I had been that guy, and Jesus had layed hands on me and started yelling and casting out demons, I would've been terrified. But instead Jesus is just like, "You want to be healed? Okay then, just take up your mat and start walking.".
Yes, I kind of like this wisely impulsive side of Jesus. It's cool and kind of exciting. Jesus is so awesome. I love Him.
Wellllll... that's it for now, I suppose. I'll write back soon, I promise. Okay, I don't promise; I'm too afraid of breaking it, lol. Anyways, love you guys and hope you have a great day!

Such excitement!

2009-02-10T11:19:00.001-05:00

Hey world! My number of blog followers is up to TWO now! lol

Little giggles and Valentine's Day

2009-02-10T10:43:00.004-05:00

Hellooooo again! Sorry it's been a while, but I've been pretty busy. So, I'll just tell you what's up here.
Last week, I babysat these two little girls from church. Our parents were going out to dinner, so I went to their house to babysit. Let me tell you, these two girls are so polite and sweet. Just precious. The oldest girl is eight and the youngest is six. Here's a conversation we had at the table eating our dinner:

Youngest girl in mid-story: "...and I had to go to the bathroom."

Oldest girl solds softly: "Ania, we don't use that talk at the table, it's not proper."

Youngest girl smiles sheepishly: "Oh, sorry. I mean, I had to use the Ladies' Room..."

Haha, I love these girls. Since our parents didn't get home until after the girls' bed time, I got to put them to bed. It was so cute. I said good-night to them and went downstairs to clean the kitchen, do the dishes, tidy up and such. My sister came along for this whole thing and decided to "sleep" in their room for a few minutes (Yeah right, Small Fry). So I stood at the foot of the stairs and could hear little whispers and muffled giggles. As I made my way up the stairs (to get Hannah), I could hear frantic/excited whispers, "Oh, she's coming! She's coming!". If you know Hannah, you probably already know for sure that it was her causing the commotion. ;) It was a fun night.
The next day, I went to a Valentine's party that me and a group I belonged to was hosting. All in all, it was kind of a lame party, but I had a good time. There was food and some fun games and I had a fun time anyway.
So yesterday, my grandparents came to visit from Kansas. I spent about three days cleaning and preparing for them to come. They're staying in my room (which double as the guest room), so I had to make sure it was spotless. I assure you, my room fairly sparkled. Last night, we went out to eat at a barbecue place in town. It was good. We always have a great time with my grandparents.
Well, I'm going to go eat lunch now. I haven't eaten yet today and I'm pretty hungry. Sorry! No deep thoughts or interesting observations to speak of today. :( Maybe later. Anyways, I'll try to write soon! Love you guys!

P.S. How do you like my new page? Nice, huh? Oh! Hey, Lori, where to you get your fancy-shmancy blog templates? I'm stuck with default ones while you and Miss Linn and everyone has really nice ones. Do you get yours at a special website?

New Video

2009-02-02T17:08:00.001-05:00

Hey! I just added videos. Um, they're amazing. I would suggest checking it out. See the top one and that will be my blog post for today. Go watch it now! You won't regret it, I promise. ;) Love you!

Peace, be still

2009-01-27T20:03:00.003-05:00

Hello hello! See? It's only been a few days and I'm already back! How's that for faithfulness? Lol.
So, last night, I was laying in bed chatting with God (that's our chat time). I was a bit upset. The world is becoming a nasty place to be and I was being a silly little fearful girl. I was all, "God, I'm tired of having a nagging fear constantly in the back of my mind! It's so exhausting! Please, please give me peace. Please." And then instantly, a song started going through my mind. I don't remember who it's by but it's such a very good song. Here's the chorus. It goes:

Peace, be still.
Peace, be still.
Please, be still,
and know that I am God,
and know that I am God.

All of the sudden, I felt an amazing peace. Like God was like, "Please, Sarie-girl, be still. I'm God. There is no reason to worry.". I started laughing and crying. Even thinking of it now, I get all teary that God was listening and loved me so much to give me that peace. Aw! I love Him!
So, on that note (?), I came across some great song lyrics today. This time, I do know who the song is by. ;) The song is God moves in a Mysterious Way by Jeremy Riddle. You'll have to look it up and hear it. I love it. Here are the lyrics:

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm

Deep in unsearchable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will

Chorus:
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, in blessings
In blessings on your head

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face

His purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain

In His own time
In His own way...

I know about you, but those are some powerful word. I do think you'd have to hear the song though. So look it up right now! ;)
Well, I think that's enough for now. Love y'all! Ttyl.

Sleepin' on the job...

2009-01-24T20:20:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I admit it. I've been a slacker. I'm sorry, friends, I haven't posted anything in a while. I've meant to, but I haven't the time to actually write with no distractions. In fact, even now, I have many distractions around me. I'm sitting right now in the middle of the living room; the T.V. has a Brian Regan show on it, my dad is eating, and I have like, a million things on my mind. But, I'm setting my mind to it, and so therefore, I will accomplish this blog post if it's the last thing I do!
So today, I was thinking about how cool this whole God stuff is. Yeah, surprising, I know. ;) Anyways, I've been going through some tough stuff as of late. Sometimes I'll look up in the sky and whisper, "Oh God, what do you want me to do?" And I feel like he says, Just trust Me, Sarah. It's all I'm asking you to do now. But God, it's so hard to trust You. I mean, I can honesty say that this is the most confusing situation I've ever been in. But as I told a wonderful friend of mine, "It's so much easier to trust God. Well, not easier to trust, but easier when trust." No, friends, it isn't easy to trust God at all. It's one of the hardest things...ever. But make no mistake, it's so much easier when you trust Him.
Often, we're Peter, trying to walk on the water with Jesus, but then we become unfocused and start sinking. Was it hard for Peter to focus on Jesus ? Of course! There was a storm raging around him. But wasn't he so much better off when he kept his focus straight? Yes. Yes, he was. But what I like about Jesus is that He didn't see Peter shifting his eyes and go, "Sheesh, Pete! Can't keep your eyes straight for two minutes?!" and walk away. He saw Peter sinking and reached out. He showed that God isn't going to condemn us for becoming distrusting, or unfocused. He'll reach out and pull us up again. He'll show is his love and help us see how to trust him. I love that. Just thought I'd share it with y'all.
So today, I went to my little sis' basket ball game. It was pretty intense. ;) Her team lost. Quite honestly, her team is really wimply. She's fine, but the team as a whole is wimpy. It was cute though. Kids throwing the ball with all their might at the hoop. Haha, so cute.
Well, I did it! I completed a blog post! Ha. Yay for me! Well, I'll let you all go now. I'll write soon!

Monolpoly!

2009-01-13T16:12:00.003-05:00

Chris an Hannah played monopoly for like, half the day today. Hours upon hours. Guess what I was doing. School. Yeah. So fair.
Anyways. I have not done much today besides school. I've been really sleepy. It's cool and cloudy outside and I think it's affecting my mood. No, not making me grumpy. I love cloudy days. They're so relaxing. Who doesn't love them?
Aw, I had something profound to say, but I can't remember what it was. *Sigh* This happens far too often. When I remember, I will come back and write it posthaste!

Oh Florida...

2009-01-12T21:23:00.004-05:00

Haha, I know some of you back in Kansas (ahem...Lori) are suffering in the cold. I'm so sorry. It must get old being cold. Well, my dad and lil' sis are juicing some oranges that Micah and Cassie gave us (They have fruit trees in their back yard. They give TONS of fruit and guess who gets most of it. Yeah. Us). We have bags and bags of citrus. Tons. So daddy and the small fry are standing and juicing oranges and I was thinking that while we're here juicing oranges in our shorts, you Kansas people are all bundled up making ice cream from the snow. *haughty smirk*
Anyways, I have been gone a lot of the day. I went to babysit some kids from church. It was so fun. These kids were a breeze. Oh the wonder. So, we all played pirates. I made eye-patches for all of us and we made a treasure map and went on a treasure hunt around the house. We went past the Mermaid Lagoon, through the Black Forest, into the Cyclopes Cave (and slayed the Cyclopes), and on to to Fox's Lair. There, we found the treasure. A box of crayons and costume jewelry. Yeah, I know I'm the best babysitter ever. If you need your little tots watched, I'm your gal. Call me.
Well, I think I'll go join the fam in juicing our refreshing citrus. ;)

P.S. Hey, Lori, I don't think I ever gave Angela my blog address. She wanted to check it out but I never got around to showing her while I was there. Can you give it to her, please?

Dreams...

2009-01-12T20:26:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night that I went to South America. And a couple nights before that, I had a dream I went on a missions trip to Africa. I wonder if this means something. I would love to go help people somewhere. Oops, dinner. I'll write later.

A Wild God

2009-01-08T17:44:00.003-05:00

Hello, there, friends! Not much is going on around here, but I do have some stuff I've thought about and I wanted to post it before I forgot.
I've heard people say things like, "He's/she's/I'm still new to the faith...", talking about Christianity. And I was thinking it's funny that they say that, because, I too am still new to the faith. And I always will be new to the faith. This is because my faith is always new and changing. And the reason for that is because God himself is always doing new things. That's what I love about this whole Jesus thing. He's always moving and alive. Things don't stay the same. Well, He stays the same, but I mean what He's doing and where He is. The fact that he's always doing something new. He's so wild in that sense. I love it.
I love the scene from The Lion the Witch, and the Wardrobe (the book). Lucy has asked if Aslan is safe. She says she'd feel rather nervous meeting a lion. And Mrs. Beaver says, "That you will, dearie, and make no mistake, if there's anyone can stand before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or just plain silly." Lucy says, "Then he isn't safe?" Mr. Beaver answers, "Safe?...Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
Who said God was safe? Who said He was tame? I never see anything about that in the Bible. God can't be tamed or contained. And He is not safe. But. He is good. Very good. He's wild and dangerous, but He's unfathomably loving.
So this is one of the things I love about God. He isn't some boring guy with a beard sitting up in heaven. He's like the wind. No matter how hard you try, you can't tame him. He doesn't stop moving. It's such a refreshing thought to me. Dang I love thinking about it! ;) It makes my heart smile...
Well, I hope this has renewed your spirit as much as it has mine. Whew! That was fun to me. Anyway, I'll let you go about your day now. I'll write soon!

Long time, no see!

2009-01-07T15:40:00.002-05:00

Hello, hello hello! So sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything! So, let's update, shall we?
Since we last talked, I returned home from Kansas, safe and sound. Well, almost. About four hours after we pulled in the drive (3:30 am Monday the 29), I was vomiting. I had the stomach flu. Great. So when I decided to come out into the family room, I soon discovered that my brother, Chris had it too. So, we spent the day lounging on the couch, sleeping, watching T.V. and feeling sorry for ourselves. All while feeling awful and puking our guts out. Nice. It got worse when my mom turned on the food network. Guess what was on. That Giada girl. You must understand, I looked awful. My hair was gross, I needed a shower, I was in my p.j.'s and looked just pathetic. So it didn't really help my self-esteem when mom turned on Giada, with her wonderfully smooth skin, beautiful hair and perfect everything. I don't usually feel ugly, but I did in those moments. Thanks mom. Love ya. Well, luckily, I was only sick for a couple days. There IS a bright side! ;)
Let's see. What else has happened? Not much. Oh! I went to the store and spent some Christmas money. I bought an awesome new pair of socks. In fact, I'm wearing them as I type this! Seriously guys, what's better than crazy socks? Not much, my friends. Not much.
Anyways, I had some thoughts to share, but I forgot them. For those of you who know me well, this is no surprise at all. ;)
Well, I have no interesting things to write. I just wanted you guys to know I'm still alive and well. So since I have nothing interesting to write, I'll let you go. I'll check back whenever I have something to write! Love ya!

Ho Ho Ho...

2008-12-24T18:50:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, one and all!

Something's missing...

2008-12-24T13:14:00.002-05:00

Oh how I miss the warm sunshine of Florida!

Sonic!

2008-12-19T16:05:00.001-05:00

Hey! Me, Chris, and Hannah went to Sonic today. Haven't done much else. Here are the pictures!

Sara Groves

2008-12-16T21:36:00.001-05:00

Hey! Just added Sara Groves to my playlist! Scroll down and check it out!

Snow!

2008-12-16T15:04:00.002-05:00

Hey! Its snowing today! I think there surely must be four or five inches of it on the ground. I went and played in it today and made a snowmound. Why a snowmound in stead of a snowman? Well, the snow was too powdery, so I could only work it into a mound. Oh well.

So, I've done pretty much nothing today. Other than play in the snow.

Well, I know I said I had more to say last time, but I can't remember what it was. Anyone who knows me probably won't be surprised...

Sorry. No profound thoughts, or interesting observations, or funny comments. Just a lazy day on vacation...

hola!

2008-12-14T22:58:00.002-05:00

Hello! It's snowing outside! Okay, so that may sound like a good thing, but seriously. It is bitter cold here.

So, tonight, I went to my old church's Christmas pageant. It was so cute! There were kids in bathrobes telling the Christmas story and I loved it.

Well, I've been thinking about God lately. lol. So surprising right? Okay, to be specific, I've been thinking about how He takes the poorest people and ends up blessing them in unbelievable ways.

Example? Well, so I was reading about Elizabeth a day or two ago. She and her husband were really really old. And they still had no kids. So, in the olden days, that was like, unheard of. You had to have a lot of kids. It was most of your wealth. Anyways, so these old people were ancient and they still had no kids. So God comes along and says, "Hey, just so that you know, you're going to be the happy parents of one of the most famous men ever to exist." Ummmm...wow.

And David. He was just a Shepherd kid. Not much. But God takes him and makes him king over his country and in the lineage of Jesus.

And Esther, she was just an orphan. And God makes her queen and she ends up saving a whole race.

I think God's cool like that. Just some thoughts.

Hey, I'm listening to Sara Groves right now. Specifically, "He's Always Been Faithful". I adore this song. I could listen to it all day long. Check it out. Stinking, gonna-make-you-cry awesome.

Well, I have more to say, but I have to go. I'll post soon if I have time!

Helloooooo from Kansas!

2008-12-12T19:17:00.001-05:00

After about 25 hours altogether of driving I finally made it!

Hey!

2008-12-07T21:51:00.002-05:00

Hey, everyone! Hope you've had a good, relaxing Sunday!

I went to Disney with my friends yesterday! Probably the best day ever. We hit three of the four parks. It was so fun, but I think I'm getting more and more sore by the minute, still! If you want to see the pictures, head over to my Facebook.

Well, I know it's bee short, but I must go now. It's almost past my online curfew. Sleep well, friends!

Word

2008-11-28T10:47:00.000-05:00

Cowboys

2008-11-21T20:35:00.003-05:00

Hey, everyone! So sorry it's been so long! I've been quite busy with school and such.

So, today, me, my brother, and my sister played cowboys. It was so fun to be a kid. I haven't felt that way in a while. Well, the pictures are above. Chris' cowboy name was Kid Kansas, Hannah's name was Red Hat Jane, and my name was Six-shootin' Ranglin' Tanglin' Kate (I know, awesome). It was quite adventuresome. We robbed an entire train in our back yard! Why, I reckon we were the richest cowboys in the west!

Not much

2008-11-10T11:11:00.002-05:00

Hey, everyone! Well, it's back to the grind for me. There will be little rest today as I do a boatload of school and prepare for home-school-group on Wednesday. Mmm. Fun stuff.

Well, I have to go eat lunch now. I probably won't check back until later this evening or tonight. But, before I go, I just last night reactivated my Facebook account so here's the link:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=668121943

I don't know if this will work, but here it is. Check back soon!

Some musical suggestion

2008-11-09T17:39:00.002-05:00

Hey, I thought I'd add one more thing before I signed off. You guy's know Steven Curtis Chapman? Of course you do. Well, his son, Caleb is also a musician. His music is amazing! Please! Go check out his website and listen to his music! There are only five songs, but every one of them are awesome! Go right this minute! Here's the link:
http://calebchapman.com/

Enjoy! I know I did.
Good night!

This and That.

2008-11-09T15:46:00.005-05:00

Hello, my friends! Well, so far I've only gotten one comment on my desert island question. The answer was a Bible and a close friend. Hm. Good choice.

So, today is my day of rest! I didn't get out of bed until like, 11:45 am. But, it's not just because I was lazy, okay? My dog literally woke me up every two hours to go outside. I was furious! I didn't like him at all. Well, today, I have gotten my photography homework done, most of the planning for my 5 paragraph essay done, and in a few hours, I'll start on Spanish homework. I think it might be a productive day after all.

On my last post, my friend, Josh commented asking me a random question. I think its a good one, so I think I'll answer it. He asked, "What do you think the desire of your heart is? Meaning, what is the one thing that in the center of your being, the core of your chest, what you want most?". He knew what my answer would be so he added, "besides living for God and serving Him." So, I think what he means is what is my goal in life, I guess. If I'm wrong Josh, correct me, I don't want to mess up your question. But...well, here I go. I think my desire is to make people feel loved and beautiful, because they are. I also want to show them that they aren't valuable because of anything they can or can't do, but that they are valuable because of Who made them. What I mean is that, well, let me show you. Is a painting by Van Gogh or Michelangelo valuable because of anything the painting did? No, of course not. What makes the painting special is simply the fact that it was created by the artist. Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm not special because of my good looks or stunning personality (lol), but because I was made by an amazing Artist, who doesn't make mistakes or flops. So, Josh, I think that's be best way I can convey to you what my desire is. Maybe it doesn't make much sense, but, there it is.

So, I saw something on someone else's blog that I thought was funny. It was a list of about ten strange, weird, or random fact about that person. I decided to do one! It sounded fun. So, without further ado, here are ten strange facts about myself:
1. I have a ADBD (Attention Deficit Blogging Disorder).
2. I would jump off a cliff to get a Chipotle Chicken Burrito.
3. I have a mild obsession with hand sanitizers and lotions.
4. I have a major obsession with Chap Stick
5. I have a strange adoration for sour gummy worms.
6. I love music that sounds like it came from Mississippi.
7. I love people that sound like they came from Mississippi.
8. I have a friend who says my last name rhymes with 'chicken bird'. Keep him in your prayers. :)
9. My hair, naturally, is as big as the Pope's hat.
10. I can never convey what I'm thinking, so most of the time, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

Now, I want to know ten strange facts about you! So, comment on this post and get to listing!

The life. Or should I say, how my week is going and some thoughts.

2008-11-08T14:36:00.008-05:00

Hello, people! How am I (I should always begin my blog posts like that shouldn't I?)? :)Well, I'm pretty much exhausted. I have been gone almost every day this week. So, tomorrow, I get the day off! I'm so excited!!! Not only do I get the day off, but I get a Sunday off! I rarely ever get Sundays off! How did this come about?
Well, with my mom's new job at our church as the pre-school director, I've been working my behind off. Not to say that she hasn't been, but that's a different story. Anyway, as I said, I've been gone nearly every day, which meant I was behind on homework and totally and completely worn out. Well, last night, I pretty much had a break down because I was so tired and yet still had so much to do. So my mom forced me to take Sunday off and rest. Rest? That word hasn't been in my vocabulary for weeks! So tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to rest, and catch up on homework (oxy moron? Hmm...).
So, when I check back on here tomorrow or Monday, I'm going to be feeling much better.
Anyways, I've been thinking lately about that whole saying: "God's never going to give you more than you can handle." I've been wondering if it's actually true. Because I think God always gives us more than we can handle. Why? To show us His glory. I think that the previous statement implies that God is going to make it so that we can always handle things by ourselves. But, if we were always able to handle things by ourselves, we wouldn't really need God would we? I don't know about you, but I think that contradicts the Bible. So, I think that the phrase should be changed to, "If God ever gives you more than you can handle, He will always be there." Hm. Well, maybe it needs revising. I'd better work on that. Comment and tell me if you agree with my theory.
Well, after all that, I feel like I need to ask you guys something random about yourselves like my friend, Josh does. So I'll end this post like this, if you were marooned on a deserted island, what are two things you must have with you? Comment and tell me. And leave you names while you're at it. :)
Good night, friends!
Sarah

Urgent Message :)

2008-11-08T14:36:00.002-05:00

Okay, seriously, guys. Who commented on my poem post? There are like, four comments on there, and I don't even know who posted them! I suppose it could've been anyone, maybe a stalker or something! So, from now on, please leave your name on the comments! Thanks!
~Sarah

P.S. Thank you for your wonderful remarks! I'm quite flattered.

Sarah's Sea

2008-11-06T10:53:00.003-05:00

Hey, Hey, Hey! I just thought I'd post a poem I wrote. Well, I basically wrote it. My friend, Kasen helped a bit, too. :) But, it seriously was my idea and written by me, just arranged by her. Thanks, Cherry Berry!

Sarahʼs Sea
I sit by the sea and lay back my head,
A book lays beside me, the one I just read.
The winter air tickles my nose,
As I shift the sand between my toes.
The sky is dark on this winter afternoon,
With clouds that promise to bring rain soon.
But I donʼt care I'll sit here longer,
To listen to the mighty seaʼs wonders.
I see the gulls as the dance in the wind,
Rocking and swaying,
again and again.
The mighty sea crashes against the rocks,
It crashes again spraying me as it mocks.
The cold winter mist splashes in my face,
And I give in to its cool embrace.
There isn't a place Iʼd rather be,
Then sitting here just me and my sea.

Comment on this post and tell me what you think! Am I very good at poetry at all? Brutal honesty, guys!

Some tough stuff

2008-11-05T16:49:00.002-05:00

Hey, guys! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been so busy! So what's going on? Well...
On Monday, I went on my very first photo shoot! My photography teacher took me on a photo shoot to be his assistant at a convention. I was so fun! But, it was a lot of work. It was worth it though. I learned so much!
So, it looks as though we have a new president. I don't know about you, but this one was tough for me. The thought of having Obama as ruler of this country was rather terrifying, considering his background. So I had to spend some time literally on my knees, face down on the floor, asking God to help me to trust Him to keep us safe. I think He helped me to see some things. I remembered how God kept Daniel and his friends safe when the Babylonians took over Israel; and not only did He keep them safe, but they flourished and the king himself was influenced by them. And then, when the Romans took over sometime later and were persecuting the Christians in terrible ways, God not only kept them safe, but used them to show thousands upon thousands of people the wonderful love of Jesus. Isn't it interesting how in the very darkest of times, God is constantly and effectively in motion, drawing His children into His arms? I read something interesting in Habakkuk 1:5. God said:
"Look at the nations and watch-and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days the you wouldn't have believed even if you were told."
When I read that, the words really jumped off the page and came alive, as if God Himself knelt down beside me and said it right to my face. Yeah. Um..whoa. That's huge. I said, in my days, God? Do you seriously think I'm strong enough to handle that kind of thing? Good or Bad?
What I like about God, is that He believes in us so much more than we do. So Jesus, the Son of the Creator of the universe, goes up to some lowly fishermen and says, "Hey, guys, come with me." Would He have done that if He didn't think that they could? Uh, no. That would be dumb. So would God have said, "Hey, Sarie-girl, I'm going to do something so big very soon, that you wouldn't believe if someone came up and told you.", if He didn't think I would make it?
Well, I guess not. So, I'm just pretty excited to see what in the world God thinks He's going to do. :)
Well, I have to go to bed now. But I have one last comment. I'm just glad that this country does not belong to Barrack Obama. America isn't any man's country. It belongs to God. And it always will.
Love you all!
Sarah

P.S. Check out the music players at the bottom of the page! I love them.